


Communication is Key

by WeissGrayBlu



Category: Free!
Genre: Bullying, Deaf Character, Harassment, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, POV Alternating, Sign Language, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26066752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeissGrayBlu/pseuds/WeissGrayBlu
Summary: Nanase Haruka, an eleven-year-old boy, is constantly irritated by the world around him. Strangers constantly underestimate him- unless it comes to his swimming where others praise him for his 'genius'. He would much rather keep to himself, content with the few friends he has and just continue ignoring the rest of world.Matsuoka Rin, also an eleven-year-old boy, becomes instantly enamored with the freestyle winner of the regional swimming competition where he had been convinced he would come out victorious. Rin is an energetic, swim-crazed sheer force of will who doesn't bat an eye at the other boy's reservations. All he wants to do is get to know the boy who instantly captivated his attention and he'll do anything to get him to notice.
Relationships: Matsuoka Rin/Nanase Haruka
Comments: 29
Kudos: 85





	1. Loud

To Nanase Haruka, the world was just so _loud._

It was something that his best friend, Tachibana Makoto, found extremely amusing as an observation considering Haruka was clinically deaf.

His deafness was something his parents had fretted over whenever the doctor explained to them why their two-year-old son hadn’t started talking yet. However, Haruka had since found it mystifying that they had once cared so much about him since soon after they left him in his grandmother’s care at the age of five and barely ever visited him anymore.

His grandmother had been the one to learn and teach him sign language which the two of them used with ease now that Haruka was eleven years old. Makoto was also fluent, having diligently learned when he was six years old after the two of them met at their local swim club. It was a convenient friendship since right after they met each other, Haruka discovered that Makoto actually lived just down the hillside from him with his family.

Haruka always found it bothersome to be around most people since getting to know anyone was always so tedious. Strangers were always using so many gestures that had no meaning to him and trying to yell at him as if an increase in volume could get through his undeveloped eardrums.

But Haruka didn’t really think he would be any more social if he had been born of hearing. His deafness also didn’t quell the _loudness_ of the world which was just plain irritating since Haruka would have thought that his so-called disability would have at least afforded him that luxury. The world was tediously intolerable.

Even in the small town of Iwatobi, a quaint Japanese fisherman village, people were always rushing around and entering uninvited into his personal space. Haruka always felt uncomfortable outside the confines of his grandmother’s house that smelled like cherry blossom scented detergent and yesterday’s cooked fish; it was his haven.

Begrudgingly, there were a few other people who Haruka had reluctantly let into his world. Prominently, there was Hazuki Nagisa from the swim club who was a year younger than him and Makoto and had been way too overzealous when Makoto initially explained that Haruka was deaf upon their first meeting. The tiny blonde-haired boy who Haruka had referred to as a ‘sprite’ before Nagisa diligently learned some signs to be able to haphazardly get through a conversation while Makoto still had to fill in the blanks whenever Nagisa’s signs devolved into him just wildly flailing his arms around. But even though Nagisa was sometimes difficult to understand, the boy never gave up on learning sign language and still received lessons from Makoto sporadically. Haruka understood that Nagisa didn’t learn things very easily, especially anything that would be considered academic, and recognized how committed Nagisa was to being his friend. He even found it acceptable for Haruka to refer to him as ‘little sprite’ as a sort of sign-nickname. Aside from that, all the other people in Haruka’s life were adults or Makoto’s friends who he would tag along with whenever Makoto convinced him to come along.

But most consistently, Haruka’s world consisted of one very important thing; swimming. Whenever he jumped into the water at Iwatobi Swim Club, he truly felt at peace in that submerged world. There was no _sound_ in the water and it was what brought Haru the most contentment.

“[Ready for race day]?” Makoto asked after he lifted Haruka out of the pool one day after practice was over.

It was a consistent pastime for Haruka to use his deafness to feign ignorance that he never realised when practice ended even though both he and Makoto knew better. Haruka wasn’t an idiot and could tell just the same as everyone else when practice was over, but he liked to use everyone else’s ignorance to his own benefit. But Makoto didn’t like consistently being in the awkward position of having to ‘wrangle’ Haruka out of the pool after practice, so the taller, brown-haired boy would now stand at the end of Haru’s lane to reach out and help him out.

Haru scowled in response to Makoto’s exasperating question since both boys already knew the only reason Haru entered into swimming competitions was because it was mandated throughout the club for anyone who surpassed a set lap time; and Haruka currently held the fastest time consistently for freestyle for the past three years.

Makoto and Haruka walked home afterwards, saying goodbye to Nagisa who had to walk in the opposite direction once the boys were changed and exited from the swim club. Nagisa’s wild flailing as he waved goodbye was enough to make Haruka dizzy, so he turned to head home first while Makoto waved back to the small blonde for the both of them.

Neither of the two of them said anything further on their way home, a common occurrence between the two best friends. Makoto was talented enough at being able to have short conversations with Haruka while they walked, but sign language really did work best when those communicating stood still and faced each other. Haruka could also read lips, a detail he didn’t often divulge because then people tended to speak exaggeratingly slow and enter into his personal space to show off their obscene mouths. Again, for Haruka to be able to read Makoto’s lips, it required for the two of them to stop for better communication and Haruka really would rather get home and read his new Waterfalls and Other Springs magazine that was due to come in the mail today.

At Makoto’s house, which was before Haruka’s on the hill their neighbourhood was built into, the taller boy waved Haruka goodnight in a much less offensive fashion than Nagisa had, before the brooding black-haired, blue-eyed sixth grader made his way up to his house at the top of the hill that further led up to the local shrine.

“ _Tadaima,”_ Haruka called out accompanied with a short sequence of knocking along the genkan wall to indicate to his grandmother that he was home; _knock-knock, knock-knock-knock._

His grandmother appeared out into the hallway from the kitchen and waved warmly at him in the least offensive greeting Haruka ever received.

His grandmother was the most aware of how daunting and disquieting Haruka found the world and was even more accommodating to it than even Makoto.

“[Dinner’s almost ready. Go get washed up],” his grandmother informed him to which he nodded in assent before climbing the stairs to deposit his school and swim bags in his room before moving on the washroom to clean up.

From the mirror above the sink he looked at the reflection of the bathtub while he washed his hands, really wishing he had enough time for a nice soak before dinner, but the grumbling in his stomach told him that his body didn’t agree with his priorities. Plus, his grandmother always had dinner ready for him after swim practice and knew he needed his strength for the swimming competition tomorrow.

After changing into a pair of jeans and a fresh t-shirt, Haruka made his way downstairs to set the low table as was his responsibility before his grandmother brought over the dishes for their dinner.

Once everything was on the table, Haruka watched his grandmother kneel down before he took his place across from her and they both said their thanks for the food.

Dinner was always a passive occurrence in the Nanase household. It was his grandmother’s belief that it was rude to communicate while there was hot food on the table that would otherwise go cold if one spent their time distracted. Haruka agreed easily with such a philosophy, enjoying his grandmother’s company and appreciating her grilled mackerel dish with steamed rice and miso soup.

It was Haruka’s duty to clean up after they were finished with dinner, clearing the table and washing the dishes before he would bring out his homework with his grandmother sitting with him, usually reading one of her many novels. Haruka was reminded that he still had his magazine waiting for him, but with his competition this weekend, he was required to complete his homework before he could partake in his own leisure.

“[How was your practice?]” his grandmother asked once they were both reseated at the low table, dinner having been cleared.

“Good. Makoto said there will be three other swim clubs in attendance,” Haruka spoke, indicating to his grandmother that he was paying enough attention to her and willing to read her lips instead of the two of them signing to each other this evening.

His grandmother was always considerate to let Haruka decide how they would communicate during their evenings together. Haru found communicating to be a draining experience no matter what language he used, Signing or Japan regardless, so it was the little things like his grandmother giving him the freedom to choose that he appreciated greatly. He was never annoyed at his grandmother when they would speak to each other, but she was aware enough of the issues he had with interacting with others even without the language barrier.

In his childhood Haruka had seen enough doctors and specialists to know he had some level of ongoing depression and other social disorders, but his grandmother gave him the freedom to orient himself in the ways that made him the most comfortable. She had once explained to him that one good friend was more precious than many and that his love of swimming reassured her enough that he participated enough in the world to not need to prove anything else to her, or anyone else for that matter.

He truly appreciated his grandmother.

“Are you only swimming free?” she asked with a knowing gentle smile to which Haru responded with a small nod before he decided to open the English book in front of him.

He scowled down at his homework, to which he missed his grandmother’s amused smile, because he never saw the sense of learning such a ridiculous and convoluted language. He was already bilingual which was more than enough for someone who would rather forgo talking with most others, so he never understood why he would ever have the need to engage in a conversation in a _third_ language.

Haruka laboured over his homework for an hour before he at least had all the questions filled out. Without proofing over his assignment, he shut his book and excused himself to go upstairs. His grandmother nodded before she too stood up and made her way into the living room to put on the television. Haruka saw that it was one of her programs with the closed captioning on since she always made sure that it was obvious Haruka could join her.

But all Haruka really wanted to do was draw himself a bath and read his magazine while he soaked and unwound.

Several minutes later, Haruka was stripped down to his jammers, because only uncivilised people bathed completely bare, and settled into a tepid bath, because again only ridiculous people bathed in hot water.

Haruka enjoyed his magazine thoroughly, taking his time to read each article and admire every picture of the waterfalls he had never seen before and sparkling blue waterways that made his mind feel at ease, before the light in the bathroom blinked to indicate that it was time for him to get out of the bath and get ready for bed.

Whereas Makoto had the startling habit of just barging into Haruka’s bathroom in the morning to rouse him from his bath to get ready for school, his grandmother had much more tact by flicking the light to prompt him to get out of the tub.

Obligingly, Haruka got out, although with a slight sigh because he still hadn’t gotten through his entire magazine before he toweled off and donned his sleepwear. It didn’t take him long for him to fall asleep after he climbed into bed that night. Makoto always said he struggled to fall asleep before race days but Haruka didn’t find it any different than any other night. He was only racing tomorrow because he had to and then he would return home and finish his magazine.


	2. Smitten

Matsuoka Rin hadn’t slept well at all the night before race day, but his adrenaline always hid his fatigue until the night after race day where he would pass out immediately after dinner.

Rin swam at the local swim club in Sano with his best friend Yamazaki Sousuke. Arriving at the competition in Iwatobi this morning, Rin had been so sure he would win the 100m free since he was definitely the fastest at his swim club and had brought home gold before in local events. But it was the raven-haired, blue-eyed boy who was standing about five feet to Rin’s right who had taken gold with what looked like hardly any effort. Whereas Rin was panting on the floor of the natatorium in front of the lane he had swam in, the boy from Iwatobi—Nanase Haruka as shown on the time board— this Nanase was just standing, breathing normally and even looking around, slightly apathetic.

Rin couldn’t understand how someone who swam like… _that_ couldn’t put as much into racing as Rin whole-heartedly did.

Soon however the next race was being called so Rin had to pry himself up off the floor. Despite the great effort, he took the opportunity to approach the boy, who had Rin’s full attention because he didn’t know of anyone could swim so… _freely._ It had truly been a sight to behold, one Rin had never seen before. He wanted to see more…

“Hey!” Rin called out in his sunniest voice, wanting to make a good first impression since he had already decided that he wanted to be chase after this new boy so he could push himself to swim just as he did.

But the raven-haired boy didn’t even flinch, like he hadn’t even heard Rin which was impossible since Rin knew he called out loud enough despite the buzzing chatter around them. Rin knew from experience that he tended to be excitable enough that he was often heard before he was seen by others on the playground, but he didn’t think that was necessarily a bad thing, especially since most people seemed to get along with him just fine.

“Hey! Free swimmer from Iwatobi!” Rin tried again, very pointed with his address so the boy would hurry up and turn around to answer him.

But again, the boy kept his back turned, not at all acknowledging Rin’s attention. The fiery redhead in response with his temper flaring, was about to holler at the boy again when he felt a soft tap on his shoulder that had him whirling around in surprise since somehow he had missed the approach of the towering boy with brown hair and green eyes he had seen swim in the backstroke races, also from Iwatobi.

“You’re Matsuoka-chan, right? Are you trying to get Haru-chan’s attention?” he asked politely, although his use of -chan as an honorific made him scowl with displeasure.

“Haru?” Rin asked much more softly, trying out the name over his lips before nodding back to the boy less excitably because he was now focused on this new nickname while still put off that _Haru_ was ignoring him.

But the brown-haired boy only smiled kindly before stepping forward and tapping the identified black-haired boy’s shoulder to get his attention. The boy didn’t startle like Rin had and even smiled slightly up at the gentle boy before regarding Rin with much more circumspection.

Rin opened his mouth to ask why the boy hadn’t heeded Rin’s calls, but his tongue froze in his mouth when he watched the brown-haired boy move his hands in a deliberate pattern to which the other boy responded by a quick hand gesture and slightly wider eyes before snapping his attention to Rin.

“Haru-chan can talk to you now, he promised he would read your lips. Oh, uh… he’s deaf by the way so he can’t hear you at all, but he understands you just fine,” Makoto explained sounding slightly embarrassed to be the one explaining something that was so obvious, but Rin couldn’t help smiling when _Haru_ scowled at his friend’s disclaimer.

“You’re swimming was really cool!” Rin blurted out before he could think better of his admission.

He felt his cheeks flush, but he convinced himself that he could play it off as exertion from the race he had just swam, even if _Haru_ looked completely fine.

Rin was completely studying the boy in front of him, finding that his effortless grace from the water somehow transferred into the way he held himself on land. He knew that maybe his interest in this free swimmer had immediately become a little obsessive as Rin stood there trying to take in every little detail of the deaf boy but he found he really couldn’t help himself when _Haru_ was something completely new to Rin who had been surrounded by swimmers his entire life.

“Thank-you,” _Haru_ finally replied with a stiff sounding voice, making Rin wonder if this conversation was making the other boy uncomfortable.

But he found himself pushing regardless because he just wanted to keep talking to this boy.

“I though for sure I was going to win, but you just _flew_ in the water. Next time I’ll win for sure!” Rin proclaimed excitedly, again watching as the boy in front of him rose his eyebrows very slightly while his lips downturned into a displeased frown.

It was a contradictory reaction in Rin’s mind, an unlikely mix of surprise and annoyance that had Rin wondering if one of the two was an act or natural reaction. It was already apparent to Rin that this boy kept himself and the world divided just by the way his eyes appeared to be closed off.

Rin was all too familiar with that feeling even though he harboured it differently. Whereas Rin covered over his overwhelming sadness from losing his father last year under layers of energy, excitement and enthusiasm, this boy seemed to withdraw completely. Rin was fascinated by him.

“If I came to swim at Iwatobi, would you swim with me?” Rin asked, knowing the question was bold and would no doubt scare off the already cautious boy, but he couldn’t help himself.

Nothing besides swimming had gotten to Rin like this in so long, not since his father’s death, so there was no way Rin was letting this feeling go.

Unsurprisingly, the boy in front of him recoiled. Even the taller boy beside them, who Rin had completely forgotten about until now, flinched slightly which only confirmed what Rin already figured out.

But what was astonishing and affirming to the drastic decision that Rin had already made in his mind to come to Iwatobi to swim, was the slight yet affirmative nod made by the boy before he apparently decided that this conversation was over.

The boy reached over to pull on the taller boy’s jacket sleeve to direct him over to the change rooms, but Rin stepped forward and grabbed his other hand briefly to keep his attention long enough to say goodbye.

“See you around, Haru!” Rin exclaimed loudly, his excitement bubbling over before he whirled around to go and track down Sousuke who would no doubt be looking for him.

Already walking away from the Iwatobi duo, Rin didn’t stay to witness Haruka’s jaw drop in utter mortification at such a casual greeting, let alone the overbearing boy’s _lack_ of acknowledgement of his deafness that everyone Haru met always fixated on in the beginning.

The pushy redhead hadn’t even asked Makoto for double confirmation that Haruka could read his lips or speak Japanese back to him. That was rare enough for someone to not be so ignorant upon first meeting but there had been some he met previously who weren’t so dense.

But this boy—Matsuoka Rin as the time board indicated, was so _direct._ And he called him _Haru!_

~~

It didn’t take nearly as much time as he had anticipated to convince his mother for him to attend school and another swimming club in the next town over, or for the paperwork for the transfer to go through within a week. But Rin wasn’t completely ignorant to not understand that the platitude he was being given was due to the untimely passing of his father. He didn’t like pulling on that thread—but he couldn’t let his chance to be with Haru go to waste.

His best friend Sousuke thought he had completely lost his mind, tried his best to talk Rin out of it, but Sousuke just didn’t get it. No one would—even if his sister Gou had been giving him a way too knowing look this past week despite her being younger than him.

A week after Rin had claimed silver in the 100m free at the regional swim competition, he was standing in front of his new sixth grade class at Iwatobi Elementary School.

He surveyed the room, his eyes landing on a very flustered looking Haru whose eyes were wide and mouth slightly agape; it held Rin’s attention before the teacher cleared her throat kindly for him to get on with his introduction.

“Hello! My name is Matsuoka Rin! I know it’s a girly name, but I am very much a boy. Please treat me well!” Rin bowed towards the class but not without peaking up through his fringe to catch another glimpse of Haru.

The stoic boy had since recovered, reforming his expression to something more neutral but Rin beamed when the teacher pointed out his desk that was right beside Haru.

Haru looked affronted again when Rin took his seat, the new student giving him a short wave to make sure Haru turned his gaze towards him.

Then he brought both of his hands up once Haru was looking at him to offer him a pointed scowl but froze when Rin went through his well-practiced motions.

“[Good morning!]” even Rin’s hand signs were punctuated with his usual level of excitement.

Haru’s mouth fell open in a mixture of annoyance and something that Rin dared to call awe, but he knew something so simple as learning a basic greeting in Haru’s first language was nothing to be thankful for, but that wasn’t the only sign Rin had learned and he was damn well not going to stop until he shared the same languages as Haru.

Sliding into his seat and keeping Haru’s gaze, the stricken boy responded with his own greeting to which Rin beamed back at him brightly.

“[Good morning],” Haru’s sign was much more subtle before both boys refocused their attention to the teacher at the front of the room.

Rin was vibrating in his desk, catching Tachibana’s eye who sat further ahead of him but mostly kept finding his gaze land on Haru who seemed distracted in his seat. Halfway through the morning lesson, he clued in that Haru must have no idea what the teacher was saying. She made no effort to sign so Haru had to wait until she wrote the instructions on the board. It didn’t seem fair to Rin who wondered if Haru’s grades were as good as they could be since he obviously wasn’t receiving the same level of education as the rest of them.

With a new kind of fervour, Rin started paying extra close attention and fiercely copied notes across his page. He didn’t realise he had caught Haru’s attention who bore his scrupulous gaze at Rin who looked like a madman scribbling in his notebook until Rin snapped his head up and beamed again at Haru.

“[For you],” Rin signed, pleased as punch that he could talk to Haru without disrupting the class.

And the fact that he knew the teacher was aware that Haru didn’t—couldn’t— pay attention to most of the lesson anyway, that they might get away with them conversing in class without reprimand.

Haru looked at the papers splayed in front of him with suspicion and hostility.

“[Take it, stupid],” Rin commended himself for making Haru look like _that_ —completely taken off guard that of course the few signs he had learned included being able to call someone—Haru— ‘stupid’.

Haru glared down at the notes, obviously regarding the notes as pity. But Rin just found it unjust that Haru had to spend his days sitting bored in the classroom that didn’t take his language into consideration at all. Sure Haru could read lips but this teacher spent half the time with her back turned to the board and it wasn’t like she even put Haru at the front of the class to be able to watch her and read her lips.

Haru gripped the notes Rin had thrown onto his desk, shuffling them neatly before he laid them out in front of him and stared as if they might catch fire if he concentrated hard enough.

When the lunch bell rang, Haru stood up abruptly, sending his chair screeching back that gained Rin’s attention and brought Tachibana scurrying to Haru’s other side.

Tachibana’s large hand gently settled on Haru’s shoulder which seemed to have a surprisingly calming effect on Haru who had looked like he was a second away from either sprinting from the class or grabbing Rin’s collar.

“Did Rin take notes for you?” Tachibana asked once Haru begrudgingly looked up at him.

Haru didn’t say anything or give any further indication to how he felt about the matter, but all were interrupted suddenly when a flurry of movement bounded through the door of the classroom and Rin recognised the new blonde boy from the swimming competition as well.

“Rinrin! You go here now too?!” the boy squealed joyously, sprinting into the classroom until he jumped into the air and landed on Rin like a koala.

Rin yelped in surprise and immediately tried to shake off the little runt. However, a startling noise made both boys freeze when they looked over to see Haru _laughing._

It was a striking sound that made Rin’s whole world spin. It was confirmed just how rare such an occurrence was when Hazuki stilled in surprise as well. Tachibana flashed a subtler reaction, a small smile on his otherwise larger than average face—this boy was just really tall!

“[Stop ~~~~],” Rin squinted at Haru before Tachibana chuckled, helpfully getting Hazuki off of him in the process.

“Haru-chan says to stop staring,” Makoto giggled some more at Haru’s glowering.

“Haru- _chan_ can tell me himself. Don’t expect me to know all the signs or just spell it out! I memorised the whole alphabet, you know,” Rin shouted indignantly looking Haru straight on so he would know the boy didn’t miss his jab.

Haru glared at him, blue eyes finding Rin’s determined red ones while the other two looked between them nervously.

“I hope your sign language turns out better than your handwriting or I will never understand you,” Haru finally retorted with a level of self-satisfaction that took Rin momentarily off guard before he smirked back at the boy.

“My notes aren’t messy, idiot. Let’s go to lunch, I’m starving,” Rin changed tactics because his stomach suddenly started rumbling and he knew that somehow Haru had begrudgingly accepted him as he is, same as he had done to Haru in return.

~~

Rin found himself introducing himself for the second time that day when he followed Tachibana—Makoto now as he had allowed Rin by the end of the day, same as Nagisa—and Haru.

Since this morning when he sat down beside Haru, Rin felt like he had butterflies in his stomach. Now, holding his breath, the butterflies threatened to explode from his stomach entirely while he watched Haru take the starting block.

Just like at the competition, Haru’s form was flawless. Unlike witnessing how Haru moved around on land however, it was obvious now that Haru felt more… _relaxed_ in the water.

The coach prompted for Rin to take the lane beside Haru and Rin obliged, snapping his goggles at the back of his head before he took the starting block. Diving into the lane beside Haru, it was like the water around him came alive. He could feel the pull and drag of Haru’s body beside him and soon, it was all Rin could focus on to catch up to him.

By the time they had completed their assigned laps, both boys burst from the water, panting for air. Rin was at least relieved to see that at least Haru wasn’t superhuman or anything and could expend the same amounts of energy as he did.

Rin swam over to the divider between his and Haru’s lanes and immediately felt himself being pulled in by Haru’s bright blue eyes. The boy looked… stunned.. confounded.. awed? Rin didn’t think he had ever seen so many emotions, but he knew exactly what Haru must be feeling because he felt the same captivating thrumming at his very core. Swimming with Haru was like something he had never seen before. He was addicted—he wanted more. And even though Haru didn’t say a word and had abruptly turned his head as if he was feeling embarrassed, or more accurately, annoyed. But Rin wasn’t phased and suddenly he threw himself over the wall to lift himself up. He grabbed onto Haru’s arm to stop the other boy’s retreat before positioning his hands for the very last phrase he had practiced all last week.

“[Will you swim a relay with me?]”


	3. Scared

Haruka enjoyed the new issue of his weekly magazine immensely, soaking in his tub and knowing his grandmother would let him enjoy his leisure time. He made it halfway through the edition before the sudden blinking of the light above him caught his notice to turn his gaze towards the door since it was normally how his grandmother caught his attention if she needed him during his soak time.

The contented eleven-year-old blanched in abject horror when he turned to find a very unwelcome guest standing in the doorway instead of his grandmother who somehow must have let this pest into their home.

“[You really do bathe in your jammers],” Rin signed with a judgmental smirk on his face before he through a towel at Haruka and moved to close the door, as if he _now_ had the decency to give Haruka some privacy.

During his initial shock Haruka had ungracefully had to drop his magazine onto the floor in order to catch the airborne towel which were both thankfully dry from the bathwater. Now he had his towel in his hand and was aiming a pointed scowl at the now closed bathroom door which served to unstiffen his previously frozen body to jerkily step out of the tub.

He knew Makoto or maybe even Nagisa was to blame for this rude intrusion on his blissful Sunday, weeks after the tournament and the sudden unnerving arrival of _Rin_ into their lives, because he most certainly had not informed the new boy of where he lived. Haruka was only even on a first name basis with Rin because the boy wouldn’t stop referring to him as _Haru_ when everyone else in the class thankfully referred to him properly as Nanase. Even Nagisa used his full first name and Makoto tagged on a -chan to his nickname, although Haru was glad that one didn’t catch because he didn’t think he could take Rin calling him _Haru-chan._

Haruka shuddered at that thought while he dried off before he proceeded to pull on his jeans and Loosey-kun t-shirt which thankfully he had the forethought to bring with him into the bathroom.

Sliding open the door once he was dry and dressed, Haru made his way to go downstairs to search for Rin who was most likely in the living or tatami room. He passed by his bedroom door, when something caught his eye from inside causing him to stall in the doorway. Horrifyingly, he caught Rin sitting on his bed looking far too comfortable in his bedroom waiting for him.

“[What are you doing in my bedroom?!]” Haru moved his hands in a show of his aggression since he was immediately irritated that not only was Rin in his house, but he was now sitting on his bed.

His once relaxing Sunday was quickly turning into an utter catastrophe.

“[You’re grandmother let me in here],” Rin gleamed back at him with a mischievous grin.

Haruka was already exhausted, not having prepared himself for Rin’s level of high energy today.

Haruka put his hands on his hips and glared at his unwelcome houseguest before he gave under Rin’s persistent smile and entered his bedroom. He even closed the door behind him although he doubted that decision once he was standing in front of Rin who was still sitting on his bed.

“[Why are you here?]” Haruka asked, this question representing all of the other ones swirling around in his mind, like how he found out where Haruka lived, why he came over without invitation and what on earth did he expect of Haruka now that he was here.

“[Let’s hang out!]” Rin signed eagerly although his enthusiasm made his usually sloppy signs that much harder to read.

Haruka scowled but it didn’t seem to sway Rin at all in his conviction that the two of them were going to hang out for the day. This troubled Haruka that his standoffishness seemed to have little to no effect on Rin who just bulldozed his way into Haruka’s life and never took no for an answer. Even Makoto shied under Haruka’s displeased scowl, but it seemed to fuel Rin’s conviction much to Haruka’s displeasure.

Haruka cast his eyes away to the side to collect his thoughts and try to form a plan to get Rin out of his room as soon as possible. However, he sensed Rin instead moving in front of him, so he had to turn back. Looking towards Rin who was now off his bed and roaming around his room, an even more unsettling turn of events since Haruka was an extremely private person, Rin found Haruka’s small collection of movies.

“[Want to watch?]” Haruka knew that Rin kept his signs short and to the point since there were obviously countless many signs he was still unfamiliar with but Haruka found that he didn’t really seem to mind upon some introspection.

Rin made the effort, which wasn’t what had him somewhat amazed, but instead it was the nonchalance Rin made of it that he was putting in such an effort to learn an entirely new language. From what Haruka had gathered about Rin, the tireless boy made a big deal about _everything._ His incessant awe of Haruka’s swimming, including trying to convince him now to swim in the upcoming relay event drove Haruka towards insanity, but Rin never brought up his deafness nor did he seek out any praise for his signing. It was—a relief.

Haruka humoured Rin since he found there was little alternative other than resorting to physical force to get Rin out of his house, but that sounded like too much effort and his grandmother wouldn’t condone any violence either. So instead, Haruka got his portable DVD player off the shelf and set it out between them on his bed. He really would have rather them be downstairs and not in his bedroom, but Rin was already here and Haruka didn’t really find it absolutely necessary for the two of them to relocate.

Determinedly, Haruka chose his favourite movie for them to watch since he really needed to have some control over this bizarre and tiresome situation, but Rin didn’t seem to mind watching his choice. The two of them then spent the afternoon fanned out on his bed with only the DVD player between them which Haruka found by the end that he didn’t really mind this closeness with Rin.

Thankfully, the overbearing boy did have some sort of manners and refused his grandmother’s offer for him to stay for dinner, although she had brought up some snacks for them earlier. Haruka had been shocked that his grandmother allowed them to eat in his bedroom, but she waved off his hesitation and Rin had promised not to make a mess, which surprisingly again, he hadn’t.

The movie also meant that the two of them didn’t really talk much, a feat that Haruka had previously doubted was possible. Only in between the movies they watched did Rin get his attention to say something. Of course, it had been to harp on about the relay, Rin becoming increasingly adamant that Haruka swim with him. It made Haruka feel gooseflesh break out over his skin and his heartrate flutter. He worried that mention of the relay was somehow making him sick because he had never felt like this before.

After Rin’s initial breaking-and-entering, even if Rin and his grandmother had assured Haruka that Rin had technically been invited into Haruka’s house, even if he hadn’t been invited over, Rin started showing up most every weekend like it was some sort of routine. And just like everything else about Rin and his overall pushy behaviour, Haruka accepted it as unavoidable and better prepared himself so he would be less disappointed for having to take care of Rin all the time.

They went through Haru’s small movie collection rather quickly, Rin never saying anything about the subtitles that usually bothered Nagisa but instead repeatedly commented on their theme of all being about water, although Rin didn’t seem to mind. He really liked the one about saving the whale which Haruka nodded in agreement, making it one that they watched again.

But it wouldn’t be Rin if he didn’t continue to shock Haruka from his humdrum life, even after the dark-haired boy gradually accepted Rin’s overbearing existence into his life. It was a Friday after school where Haruka knew he had to walk home alone since Makoto needed to meet his family in town—something to do with his infant twin brother and sister needing something baby-related. Haruka admittedly hadn’t paid much attention to that conversation after Makoto had informed him and apologised that he couldn’t walk home together.

“[Let’s have a sleep-over!]” Rin had apparently been running after him heading away from school since the redheaded boy was slightly breathless in front of him now to get Haruka’s attention.

Haruka realised, slightly horrified, that for Rin to have learned that particular sign it meant that this plan had had some forethought. It was entirely presumptuous, but Haruka believed that most of what Rin did was spontaneous and entirely disruptive of Haruka’s life anyways. Makoto had told him Haruka sounded conceited saying something like that about Rin, but he digressed.

“Look, I already have my clothes and everything!” Rin exclaimed brightly before yanking his rucksack off his back and unzipped it to show that yes, in fact, he had a change of clothes and a toothbrush among his schoolbooks.

Haruka knew his answer and was already shaking his head to say no when Rin surprised him with a more genuine look than his normal enthusiastic one.

“Please?”

It shouldn’t have startled Haruka to see Rin looking so bashful, probably knowing he had overstepped, _again,_ but obviously really wanted to stay over at Haruka’s given how much preparation he had gone through.

“We’re having fish for dinner,” Haruka gave his answer, watching Rin practically become effervescent in front of him.

“And we’re watching the whale move again.”

“Okay!”

“And we’re going to bed on time. 9 o’clock.”

“Sounds good! Let’s go, Haru!”

Haruka had expected Rin to fight him on their plans for this evening, but instead Rin quickly zipped up his bag and flung it over one shoulder before he used his free hand to tug Haruka along. It irritated Haruka that Rin was leading him since they were going to _his_ house and that he had only been delayed because Rin stopped him with his bothersome plans in the first place. But he found he couldn’t keep his scowl intact so he turned his head to the side bashfully and trusted that Rin wouldn’t lead him astray with his warm hand still holding his own.

By the time Haruka looked forward again, Rin was still dragging him along so all he could mostly see in front of him was Rin’s wild hair and clashing green vest.

It shocked Haruka sometimes that Rin could be around him and not try to talk to him all the time. Especially since Rin was so talkative, Haruka always prepared himself to have to pay close attention to him, only to find that Rin was content to just be there—or to drag him along instead.

It still felt to Haruka however that Rin was still communicating with him. He could feel the slight trembling in Rin’s hand that felt like the vibrations of his excitement. He felt Rin’s hand tighten slightly over his whenever they came across a curb and he wanted Haruka to be careful when he wasn’t paying attention. It was a whole bunch of minute signals that made Haruka get caught up in Rin’s pull before he even realised he ever had. He really didn’t know how he felt about that, but that feverish chill ran through him again, worrying him once more if he was really getting sick.

If his grandmother was put out by Rin’s sudden arrival and Haruka’s explanation that he would be staying over, she didn’t give Haruka any indication about it. Haruka couldn’t fathom how delighted his grandmother always seemed to be whenever Rin was over, but she always just waved him off whenever he asked her.

Haruka also frowned about not being able to have a bath but soon got caught up in playing a game on his console with Rin, who he bested four out of seven times until his grandmother announced that dinner was ready.

Like Haruka had stated to Rin after school, his grandmother made them delicious fish for dinner. He set the table for three and gave thanks before picking up his chopsticks to dig in. Much to his continuing horror with Rin, the chatty brat started a conversation while they all sat at the low table and Haruka was about to explain that they never spoke during dinner, when his grandmother seemed to humour the boy without any chastise.

Haruka stared between them with incredulity, and reprimanded himself internally when he realised he had been keeping up with their conversation. Of course Rin was talking about the stupid relay and explaining that it was his father’s favourite pastime when he was their age. Haruka didn’t understand the flash of emotion that crossed Rin’s face when he spoke about his father but scowled when his grandmother looked at him and smiled.

“It seems like a wonderful idea, Haruka.”

Haruka didn’t answer them and soon collected the dishes to clean up. Rin unexpectedly helped him and Haruka was secretly pleased with how well Rin helped him wash up. His grandmother waved them off afterwards again to go back upstairs and this time they watched a movie until Haruka pointed to the clock that it was nearing bedtime.

Again, Rin didn’t argue, but he paused in the middle of the room while they were both collecting their things to get ready for bed. Haruka got the futon from his parents closet and told Rin to set it up while he went to the washroom to change and get ready.

Once Haruka returned to his bedroom, he found that Rin hadn’t set out the futon like he had asked. Haruka frowned but realised that despite him returning and moving around, Rin appeared to be frozen in place, like he hadn’t moved at all from when Haruka set out to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

“Rin?” Haruka called out to him since he thought that maybe tapping the boy’s shoulder would frighten him too much, Rin looking like he was caught up in something.

Rin surprisingly didn’t turn around but at the bright flash from outside the window, Haruka noticed Rin flinch and wrap his arms around himself.

Haruka clicked his tongue before deciding to tap Rin anyways since he didn’t see a point in Rin ignoring him or trying to hide his fears. Haruka wasn’t really afraid of such things but he didn’t go around judging people for it. From what his grandmother had explained to him years ago when he had asked why people always seemed to treat thunderstorms like monsters, his grandmother explained that sometimes the thunder was so loud, it sounded like there were monsters hiding up in the clouds. Haruka thought that must be scary for some, including Rin.

“Rin, are you afraid of the monsters in the sky?” Haruka asked once he tapped on Rin’s trembling shoulder and the other boy whirled around like he hadn’t noticed Haruka’s reappearance in the bedroom.

Rin stared at him with a shocked expression before it turned more dubious.

“Monsters?” Rin asked, looking confused like he didn’t understand what Haruka was saying.

Haruka felt instantly annoyed, knowing he spoke Japanese just fine despite what others might say about him behind his back. He didn’t want to repeat himself but something across Rin’s face looked like he suddenly understood.

“You mean the thunder? I’ve never heard someone call it a monster before,” Rin answered and Haruka was slightly more relaxed that it hadn’t been him that Rin didn’t understand, but his reference.

“My grandmother says that the monsters never come out of the clouds, so we’ll be safe,” Haruka assured Rin with all the wisdom and confidence in the world before he moved around Rin to crawl up into his bed.

Rin turned around, following Haruka with his gaze but still not moving from his spot in the middle of the bedroom. Haruka kept his gaze on Rin since he didn’t really understand what was going on with the other boy and didn’t know how to comfort him other than explaining it to him just as his grandmother had.

“I—I’m not afraid of the thunder or anything,” Rin licked his lips, a sign of nervousness that Haruka had seen on others. “It’s just—m—my dad died during a storm. He died _because_ of a storm.”

Haruka felt the silence between them like a heavy burden. He had never lost anything that precious before and up until now, Haruka hadn’t known that Rin’s father was deceased. He suddenly felt very inadequate that he hadn’t known something so important and he wondered what he had to do in order to be informed of such things from his friends.

“The monsters came out of the sky and took your father?” Haruka asked, trying to understand the situation with what he had been told about storms.

Rin wavered on his feet, staring at Haruka and he knew Rin wanted to look away, especially when tears started to form in his eyes and he hurriedly wiped at them. Haruka thought that it was a blessing and a curse that he needed to be able to see people straight on to be able to really understand and communicate with them properly. He knew right now that it was making Rin uncomfortable and that he wanted to hide himself away in his embarrassment.

Rin, obviously unable to speak his surmounting heartache, nodded his head finally instead in response to Haruka’s question before the boy became a trembling mess. Haruka was shocked, feeling even more desperate to quell Rin’s fear and wondered if he should go get his grandmother.

Suddenly, Rin took action himself and vaulted into Haruka’s bed, practically tackling the other boy with his dive. Haruka responded by contorting his body away from Rin which somehow ended up with Rin practically in his lap and Haruka wrapping his arms around him like an embrace. Haruka wanted to hate it and felt himself itching to push Rin off in instinct, but instead he stilled under Rin and felt the trembling lessen with Rin’s head buried into his nightshirt.

Haruka finally tapped Rin’s shoulder again once the trembling lessened and Haruka deemed it safe again to get Rin’s attention. Rin looked up, his eyes puffy and looking even more embarrassed but Haruka didn’t feel he needed to be. The raven-haired boy was just tired and wanted to go to sleep, knowing the monsters wouldn’t snatch them up from under his blankets.

Without speaking, Haruka rearranged himself expertly and lifted his blanket as a show to invite Rin in alongside him, neither of them needing to say anything in the moment. Rin only paused for a moment before he crawled in beside Haruka and the other boy leaned over to switch off the light.

Haruka felt Rin tense again in the darkness, so he moved his hand under the blanket searching for Rin’s until he found it and clasped them together. Rin squeezed back and neither of them let go before they both fell asleep in the storm, knowing they were both safe now.


	4. Anger

After swimming practice, Haruka let Makoto pull him out of the pool like always, knowing that both Rin and Nagisa were waiting for them by the changerooms. He accepted his towel that Makoto had also brought over for him before he pulled it over his head to rub the water from his hair.

Once he deemed himself dry enough for the moment he pulled the towel to his shoulders and noticed that the boys around him were having a conversation. Usually he wouldn’t pay any mind since it was always difficult to start reading lips half-way through a conversation, not to mention that there were three different sets of lips to follow. But there was something in the way that Makoto seemed to be frozen in place and Rin inching subtly closer that made him think that maybe they were arguing about something. This was immediately and alarmingly confirmed when Rin motioned with his finger pointed right in Haruka’s face while he continued to talk heatedly at Makoto who looked even more uncomfortable.

“[What’s going on?]” Haruka asked Makoto since Makoto still signed the best besides Rin’s valiant efforts and he also knew that Makoto would be more likely to answer him.

But Makoto didn’t answer him right away, instead looking between him and Rin hesitantly like he was censoring himself; Haruka loathed when people did that to him. It wasn’t like others had the benefit for being able to reword what was already said for convenience so Haruka never appreciated the abridged version of important things, especially when it was so obvious this was about him.

He was immediately irritated with Makoto, which was a new feeling, but he didn’t linger on it before turning to grab onto Rin’s wrist to get his attention.

“Rin, I can’t understand—” he started saying before said redhead spun on his heel and jolted for the changeroom, effectively ripping his wrist away from Haruka’s grip.

Haruka was left there stunned, knowing Makoto felt guilty and was trying to get his attention again while Nagisa looked a little teary eyed but Haruka knew the younger boy just sometimes got like that whenever he was overwhelmed. He was fairly certain Rin hadn’t said anything upsetting to Nagisa, so he wasn’t very concerned to give him his attention.

The three of them were still standing in the natatorium as something wild and uncontainable welled up inside of Haruka—he was angry. He had absolutely no patience to see Makoto’s excessive apologies or his long-winded version where he would no doubt break down and tell Haruka everything that had just happened. No, right now, he needed to give Rin a piece of his mind.

Coming to that abrupt decision, Haruka marched towards the changeroom only to find that Rin’s locker was open but empty, telltale signs that he had flown out of there, obviously wanting to avoid Haruka.

Normally that would be enough for Haruka to accept that he would be seeing Rin on Monday and that he could speak to him then, but that just wasn’t good enough this time around. He needed to confront Rin right now and he didn’t feel at all bad about it since Rin was always entering Haruka’s life and space whenever it deigned on him. Haruka had never been afforded any say in the matter so he wasn’t about to give Rin any courtesy.

He knew what neighbourhood Rin lived in and without heeding any of Makoto or Nagisa’s pleading, he changed just as quickly and then stormed out of the swim club before the other two could even shimmy out of their jammers.

It unfortunately wasn’t until he was in the middle of a neighbourhood he had never been alone in when Haruka realised he had no idea where Rin actually lived or how to find his way back to his own home. He felt his tongue click over his teeth in annoyance, blaming Rin again for his current predicament. His anger hadn’t really lessened any, heightened only with his growing annoyance which made him now want to return to his own home and hide away in his bedroom.

Standing in the middle of a sidewalk on an unknown street, he was startled from his brooding when someone lightly tapped his shoulder. Haruka turned around to face a kind looking woman with startlingly familiar red hair and eyes.

Her lips were glossed in a light pink which he looked at as she spoke to him slowly, but not patronisingly. He was surprised to find that this woman had such a calming effect on him since he hated whenever people slowed their speech for him, but this woman looked as if she was just concerned for him and not his disability. But how would she know he was deaf anyways?

She smiled so warmly at him, bending over to be more at his level, her eyes surveying him as if she did in fact know who he was.

“Is your name Haruka-kun?” she asked and waited for him to nod in the affirmative before continuing. “Are you looking for Rin? I’m his mother. I’m sorry if I startled you, it’s just you’ve been standing in front of my house for several minutes now and you match exactly the description Rin gave me of his new swimming friend.”

Haruka regarded her with blatant shock before he nodded at her again, not able to find his words which were lodged at the back of his throat.

“Rin’s inside, if you would like to come in?” she asked, to which yet again, Haruka only annoyingly nodded back at her, irritated with himself now for his continuing silence.

If it bothered Rin’s mother, she didn’t show it, to which he was relieved. He knew his quiet manner was oftentimes mistaken for rudeness and Haruka didn’t want to offend such a kind woman, even if Haruka was furious with her son.

Haruka followed her up the stone pathway to the front door of a house that was comparable in style to his own. Once inside, Haruka was led into a living area right off the genkan where Rin’s mother told him that she would call down Rin and make some tea if he wanted it.

“Thank-you, Matsuoka-san,” Haruka finally spoke, watching a bright smile warm Rin’s mother’s face before she walked off presumably towards the kitchen, or maybe to Rin’s room.

Haruka didn’t mind waiting, clenching his fists at his sides, feeling even more annoyed at Rin for making him feel like this for so long. Usually his emotions were fleeting, never this present or persistent, and he found it to be such a hassle.

Looking around the room, he noted that it was furnished respectably, with personal touches of pictures along the shelves. He was taken aback however when he finally noticed the shrine in the corner. Haruka moved over to it, knowing it was the respectable thing to do to acknowledge the dead and pay his respects. He was startled however when he realised that the man in the picture, obviously after recollecting the conversation he had with Rin during their sleepover, was Rin’s father.

Rin’s father had dark hair and the same fierce look in his eyes that Rin got whenever he made up his mind about something, which was most of the time. Haruka kneeled in front of the shrine and picked up the bell to say a prayer while he sensed someone enter the room with him. Given the energy he could feel from the stare watching him, he knew it was Rin before he stood up and looked back over towards the source of his troubles.

Rin stood just inside the entrance of the room looking unsure of himself which was a complete change from the determined frustration he had exuded back at the swim club.

Haruka stood opposite Rin almost at the other end of the room, although it wasn’t very far since it wasn’t an overly large room. Haruka felt his fists clench again at his sides, although being beside Rin’s father now lessened his sharper feelings of frustration.

“[How did you find my house?]” Rin signed finally, this being inconsequential to Haruka since Rin had first mysteriously showed up unannounced at his house, so he didn’t bother to answer Rin. Instead he posed his own pressing question.

“[What did you say to Makoto?]”

He knew Rin would recognise Makoto’s sign name by now so he also knew Rin would know what he was asking even if the full translation didn’t go through in his head.

Rin bowed his head again, irritating Haruka further, before Rin stepped towards him until he took Haruka’s wrist in hand and dragged him back out until they presumably reached Rin’s bedroom. Matsuoka-san hadn’t reappeared yet even though she had offered tea upon his arrival so Haruka wondered what Rin had said to his mother to afford them both some privacy.

Haruka stayed standing in the bedroom her found himself in while Rin took a seat on his bed and started fiddling with his hands in his lap. It was an irritating distraction that caused Haruka to click his tongue again, successfully gaining Rin’s attention.

“What happened, Rin?” Haruka tried again, losing any semblance of patience his grandmother and Makoto constantly told him he didn’t possess.

Further silence and twiddling of his thumbs caused Haruka to boil over in his frustration he previously didn’t know he was capable of feeling. Was this how Rin constantly felt? It hadn’t gone unnoticed by Haruka that the boy in front of him was so easy to burst with his emotions, be it his beaming smiles, easy tears or quick temper.

“[I’m not stupid, Rin! Being deaf does not mean I do not understand!]” Haruka signed furiously, not caring that Rin would have to pay close attention to catch his angry signs.

It was one benefit that he could use his signing to argue without alerting Matsuoka-san. Rin seemed to understand him well enough, his red eyes going impossibly wide while his mouth went slack. When he apparently came to his senses, Haruka watched Rin sputtering before he brought his hands up to hastily start signing. If Haruka wasn’t so livid due to the fact that he thought Rin was different from everyone else, never doubting him for his deafness and silence, he would ponder over the fact that it seemed Rin had been really studying up on his signing considering the progress he noticed in such a short time.

“[I know you’re not stupid! I’m embarrassed Haru! I don’t want to admit what I said to Makoto because I’m so embarrassed!]” all of Rin’s signs were so _loud._

Haruka identified Rin’s frenzy behind them and this time it was Haruka’s turn to go slack-jawed before he turned his head away in his signature move whenever he couldn’t quite handle a situation.

He was brought back however by a sudden hand on his shoulder that told him Rin had gotten up from his bed and was now standing right in front of him.

When Haruka finally looked back at Rin, the redhead took his hand off of his shoulder to bring it up in front of him to sign again.

“[Nagisa said that he wanted to have a sleepover. Makoto said that you two have lots of sleepovers. I am…]” Rin paused and Haruka realised from Rin’s blazing blush just how embarrassed Rin must be feeling. He couldn’t help but feel a small pang of relief with the realisation that Rin had ignored him for selfish reasons and not from any doubt against Haruka himself. “[I am jealous].”

“[Jealous?]” the sign felt foreign over Haruka’s fingers even though of course he knew what the word meant.

He just couldn’t fathom how Rin could be feeling jealousy over the situation. Surely Nagisa would invite Rin along for the sleepover since the four of them were now a team—much to Haruka’s ongoing hesitation on the matter.

“[I want to be the only one you sleep with],” Rin signed his guilty admission, the situation both cleared up and made further confusing to Haruka who stood there in shocked silence.

Rin was tomato red by this point, hands back restlessly fidgeting at his sides. Finally, Haruka puffed in annoyance, his anger all but evaporated at this point.

“[You’re so fussy, Rin],” Haruka rolled his eyes and watched Rin pout in slight defiance although he didn’t refute the fact.

However a sudden shift in Rin’s stance caused Haruka to startle since Rin had that wanting look in his eyes again.

“[I want you to swim for me],” Rin signed more assuredly, Haruka clicking his tongue at Rin being so demanding.

Not at all put off by Haruka’s annoyance, Rin took another step into Haruka’s personal space, causing Haruka to instinctively turn his head to the side. However, this didn’t seem at all to deter Rin who Haruka felt boldly press his chapped lips to his cheek.

Haruka whirled his head back to meet Rin’s gaze once the other boy pulled away, only to be met with his signature beaming grin. Haruka’s heart beat heavily and his hands turned clammy. Not for the first time today, Haruka was made to feel irritating things he had never felt before. It seemed Rin was always making him feel things he had never felt before.


	5. Anguish

When Rin received the good news in the mail, he bounced along to school the next morning. Rin almost believed that he could bust from all the excitement swirling around inside of him since today felt like it was going to be such a good day.

The relay was tomorrow which Haruka had finally agreed to and Rin had no doubt that they had the best team and would take home the gold.

During their lunch break, Rin led Makoto and Haruka to the bare cherry blossom tree that stood in the school grounds. Haruka seemed to like it here since most of the other children stayed near the school to eat so it was just the three of them with their bentos.

“[I have an announcement!]” Rin beamed once Haruka and Makoto were seated under the tree.

Makoto looked up at him with pleasant interest while Haruka looked more uncertain, probably because every time Rin had something to announce it meant demanding something inconvenient from him.

“[I am moving to A-U-S-T-R-A-L-I-A],” Rin finger-spelled the last word since in all his excitement this morning he had forgotten to look up the proper sign for Australia.

Makoto seemed to come to his senses sooner than Haruka, showing Rin the correct sign while smiling at him politely—just like always.

“That should be an exciting adventure for you,” Makoto said kindly even though Rin could tell that it was a little strained.

Rin knew that he would also miss his relay team a lot since he had grown fairly close with them over the past few months, but he still believed this was what he needed to do to be better and push himself to stay on Haruka’s level. The raven-haired boy in question however still hadn’t given any indication that he had seen what Rin said.

Haruka had turned his head away so he wasn’t looking at Rin who now had a buzzing uneasiness in his gut that was replacing all the excitement he had come out here with.

Instinctively, Rin grabbed onto Haruka’s sleeve to get the boy’s attention which the other boy was staunchly refusing to give. Rin tugged Haruka’s sleeve anyways, earning him a scowl this time but at least the stubborn boy turned to meet Rin’s worried gaze. Again, Rin suddenly forgot that Makoto was even there, or maybe he had gone back to the classroom by now to give the two rivals some time to figure this out. Makoto had been quietly placating of Rin and Haruka together ever since the incident at the Swim Club where Rin’s jealousy had gotten the better of him.

“Haru, I have to go. I have to get better so that I can swim by your side forever,” Rin pleaded with Haruka to understand that this was something he _had_ to do.

Haruka’s frown deepened making Rin feel conflicted with how to change Haruka’s mood. Rin had slowly been learning how to get past Haruka’s initial displeasure to absolutely every new thing in his life and proudly had even gotten Haruka to enjoy some new things—including sleepovers and holding hands, not that either of them would outwardly admit that second one.

Rin slid his hand down to Haru’s from his sleeve to give his hand a squeeze. He could tell Haruka wanted to rip it away, probably to sign back at him, but Rin selfishly couldn’t let go since Haruka’s hand was just so warm and it was the only way he could think of to calm the other boy down.

“But I’m right _here,_ Rin,” Haruka’s eventual reply sounded almost defeated to Rin who hadn’t honestly expected such a response from the other boy.

He had planned for Haruka’s indifference, disappointment or maybe even his slight anger, but this _anguish_ threw Rin off his balance.

“Ne, Haru… if I go now, I promise I’ll come back to you and show you a sight you’ve never seen before,” Rin pulled out his biggest smile to respond because even though Haruka had jolted him to his very core, he still meant every word he said.

He would promise Haruka anything and knew that they were forever connected to each other even though something like that was so embarrassing to admit. Haruka didn’t seem to see it that way right now however, Rin watching him as his bright blue eyes grew even brighter while they watched each other. When Haruka finally nodded, Rin realised they were still holding hands and Haruka even squeezed back before the two boys finally walked back to the school together.

Rin was ecstatic for their relay tomorrow with Makoto and Nagisa and then he had to work extra hard because there was no doubt in his mind that Haruka was amazing and he needed to train his hardest to be able to match someone who Rin was slightly suspicious might be part dolphin, especially since he hadn’t _actually_ ever met Haruka’s parents before for confirmation.

xx

It only took Rin two months before he knew he had made a terrible mistake; he just didn’t know which one was the worst. Since that day under the cherry blossom tree with Haruka, he had made several life changing decisions and now he had led himself to a spiralling edge where he had also backed himself up against a vast wall.

He had swam the relay with Nagisa, Makoto and _Haru_ and of course they had in fact won the even _._ He didn’t count that as a mistake, but it admittedly had spurred him to make several other consecutive decisions that brought him to his current state. He had believed that the swimming scholarship he applied for after begging his mother to go to _Australia_ and then abruptly moving to the _other side of the world_ would somehow be the best move in order to grow to become a good enough swimmer to stay by Haruka’s side. He had believed he needed to do something as grand as that to have Haruka’s presence in his life, so he had—

Rin cringes at the thought of kissing Haruka. It had only been on the cheek, but Rin flushed every time he thought about it and knew from Haruka’s despondent reaction that Haruka hadn’t appreciated it very much.

Now he was so far away and felt even more lost while the fire that Haruka had set in his heart had started to fizzle out. Australia seemed bigger somehow, maybe due to the fact that Rin was below average in height and size here and didn’t speak English near as well as he had initially thought. Having the top mark in elementary school English didn’t mean that the other kids at his new school would easily understand him like he had believed and so Rin found himself alone, his only ally being Winne, his homestay parents’ dog. Russel and Lori were pretty great for being homestay parents, but Rin didn’t want to be a bother for them, and they knew hardly anything about swimming except that they always praised Rin for his abilities. Unfortunately, this wasn’t effective for cheering Rin up since he knew his swimming here didn’t amount to much.

And since he wasn’t able to make many friends away from Japan, Rin found that he still had plenty of spare time despite all of his swim practices and the extra training he did.

As the months dragged on Rin found himself trying to fill up his time by himself and pressed on a smile whenever Russel and Lori tracked him down. They did seem to keep a watchful eye on him when he least expected it.

“Rin, what do you have there?” Russel asked one afternoon while Rin was sitting at the coffee table under a blanket with Winnie settled beside him.

Rin reflexively shuffled his books around and dropped his hands into his lap even though he wasn’t doing anything wrong—he just suddenly felt like he had been caught while doing something embarrassing.

“Do you know how to sign, Rin?” Russell asked sounding impressed even though Rin didn’t think it was really anything special.

It was Haruka’s first language just like Rin’s was Japanese and Lori and Russell’s was English. Haruka wasn’t the most open of people anyways so if Rin wanted to be able to be by his side, he needed to be able to communicate with him in more ways than one.

“Oh, Rin! How wonderful, did you learn signing all by yourself?” Lori must have heard them since she moved into the room behind her husband with an equally bright smile.

Rin felt self-conscious but nodded hesitantly under their proud gazes on him.

“Do you know someone else who signs?” Lorie asked almost knowingly, and Rin nodded again.

The flushed boy could really feel his face heating up now, but both his homestay parents patiently waited for him to be able to speak to them in full words.

“Haruka.”

By this point, Lori and Russell knew who Haruka was because besides talking about his mother and sister, Haruka was admittedly one of the only friends he ever talked about.

Lori beamed while Russell chuckled softly, and both took a seat behind him on the couch to read over his shoulder while he slowly took his book back out.

“You know, dear, I think it would be wonderful for us to learn some signing. We wouldn’t want for Haruka to be left out if he were to come visit us one day,” Lori announced unexpectedly.

Rin whipped his head around in shock to face her because he hadn’t really encountered many people who were dedicated to learning sign language, even those around Haruka. And then there was the glaring point of what Lori had said about Haruka coming to _visit!_

“I—I can show you some… if you’d like?” Rin mumbled but it seemed that the two adults heard him just fine.

“That sounds great, Rin!” Russell agreed heartily and that was how Rin started practicing signing with his homestay parents much to his ongoing bafflement.

Rin actually found himself enjoying teaching Lori and Russell Haru’s first language and they both seemed to be genuine every time they practiced together which was usually several times a week. But the gnawing feeling deep in Rin’s gut was still there and he wondered if that was the reason why he couldn’t keep up with the other Australian children; maybe he was truly weak after all.

Lori found him again one afternoon up in his room before Rin could flash a smile at her since his homestay mother always did make him feel a little better.

“I have an idea, Rin. Why don’t you write a letter to send to someone special back home?” Lori proposed as she walked into his room and leaned over his bed to pet Winnie on the head.

Rin was sitting at the desk pressed up against the window in his room which was just a small school desk Russell and Lori must have gotten for him before he came to Australia. It was more than enough for Rin and again he was always thankful for everything Russell and Lori did for him to make him feel more comfortable in such a foreign place.

“Someone special?” Rin arched his eyebrows while his cheeks flushed because the hint in Lori’s warm smile made him feel flustered that he would have anyone he considered as _special_ to write a letter to.

“Haruka knows Japanese too, right?” Lori asked warmly and this time Rin turned tomato red.

Lori chuckled kindly at him before she walked back across his room, stopping first to pat her hand through his red locks before she went back through the bedroom door.

Rin ended up trying to write out a suitable letter over the next week. By the time it was finished, he completely panicked and ended up making some last-minute changes to it and sent it to Sousuke instead. Lori never said anything when he passed her the letter so they could go to the post office to buy international postage.

But Rin felt like he had made another huge mistake.

Three years passed like this, Rin staying in Australia for the most part and feeling more and more distant from Haruka until he set foot back in his home country for the start high school. He was no longer swimming and no longer spoke to Haruka who he hadn’t seen since—

Rin had made a lot of mistakes in the last three years. 


	6. Selfish

Haruka couldn’t understand all these new layers that Rin was hiding behind. He had definitely never been one to depict social cues or personal changes very well, but Rin was different now and this version of the redhead in front of him was—well, _perplexing._

Haruka was slightly placated by the recognition that at least a few of the barbs and pointed words aimed at him were false since Rin signed them with practiced ease. Haruka couldn’t believe that Rin could be this mad at him while he still communicated so effectively—even noticeably better than three years ago like Rin had kept up with learning his signs or something.

Rin’s hands caught Haruka’s attention more than what his actual signs meant. He knew from the set in Rin’s shoulders that he was obviously angry, Haruka not quite understanding what he had done this time in particular. Ever since Rin had gotten back from Australia it seemed Haruka couldn’t do anything except to piss Rin off—but every time Haruka thought about feeling frustrated at Rin, he remembered that he was to blame for Rin stopping swimming—the thing he loved most in this world. It always made Haruka’s insides curl.

It was actually almost bizarre among the five of them, Rei now a solid part of their group since Nagisa harvested him from the track team to become the butterfly swimmer in their high school swimming relay team. Makoto had cautiously mentioned it to Haruka in the beginning of the school year that Rin might be feeling threatened by Rei’s presence on their team, filling Rin’s position from their elementary school team—their best team that they had all silently agreed upon since they were eleven-years-old.

Thanks to their manager, who also happened to be Rin’s younger sister, Gou, Iwatobi High School had many joint swim practices with Samezuka Boarding School—the school Rin was attending since returning to Japan.

The rest of Samezuka was irritating in large quantities, although Makoto scolded him whenever he indicated as much and reminded Haruka that they wouldn’t otherwise be able to swim at the Olympic sized pool.

Haruka disagreed, refuting that he could easily break in again like he had done with Makoto and Nagisa to come visit Rin when they first learned that he was attending the elite school—but Makoto was always horrified at this suggestion since they had gotten reprimanded by their principle for trespassing. Haruka believed that had more to do with Makoto being a scaredy cat and Nagisa not being stealthy enough and that he himself could come back no problem, but Makoto had given a firm _no._ Haruka never confessed that there was another reason for wanting to come back to Samezuka—alone, in the middle of the night because he knew Rin would somehow find him.

As it was, Haruka dove into the pool without any prompting and refused to lock eyes with the boy he had been unwillingly affected by since elementary school. Rin who he held hands with to ward away the monsters in the sky (which Rei articulately went into great detail explaining was something scientific and not mythological at all as Haruka had once considered), the crybaby who pushed him into doing the relay with their other friends, the bright boy who had stolen his first kiss before he even realised what was going on.

But things with Rin after he left for Australia had gone from perplexing to worse the first New Years Rin came home when they raced each other. Haruka had felt the world around the two of them disappear while they raced, but it had had the complete different effect on Rin who crumbled into pieces when Haruka beat him like always.

Rin had run away from him that afternoon nearly three years ago, leaving Haruka behind to feel the world get really lonely and cold. Haruka had never wanted many people around him, but watching Rin leave him behind like that had made him feel so alone. When he had suffered through the loss of his grandmother shortly afterwards, Haruka had felt life was once again very difficult to get through.

Makoto had cajoled him along with the increasing help of Nagisa once he rejoined them in high school.

“[Whatever, you’re annoying],” Haruka pushed all his thoughts and feelings from being within such close proximity to Rin out of his head in favour of stepping passed him to dive into the pool.

He could feel Rin’s blazing stare at him from the side of the pool where he had previously been yelling at Haruka, the latter yearning for Rin to jump in alongside him, even with all of Rin’s blazing anger fueling his once smooth strokes. But Rin didn’t jump in whenever Haru was in the lane and the Iwatobi crew left without any further interaction from Rin.

“[Are we practicing at Iwatobi tomorrow?]” Rei signed with ease, the newest member of their group having a surprising knack for picking up new languages.

Haruka had been skeptical of the whole situation with bringing Rei into their tight little group. Nagisa had seemingly randomly stalked the ex-track runner, pestering him until Rei apparently saw Haruka himself swimming and then cut the track team the next day in favour of joining the swim team. Haruka also found that Rei used too many words when trying to explain himself that Haruka often lost interest in following his speech, but he had surprisingly been eager to learn signing. Makoto, with Nagisa’s help kept showing him the basics but it seemed that Rei spent some of his free time reading up on signing and could communicate quite effectively after only a few months of them knowing each other.

Haruka had silently found that Rei reminded him a lot of Rin—eager to please the group and dedicating himself to the team and even learning sign language like Rin had when they were younger. Haruka came to accept Rei as part of their team and even considered him a friend—but he wasn’t Rin and that fact was bluntly apparent to Haruka who still felt a hollowness in the pool without Rin beside him.

Nagisa bounded forward in front of their little group of five, Rin’s sister included, nodding his head emphatically to show his agreeance to Rei’s question.

Haruka looked over to the other three to see that they were engaged in another conversation. He wasn’t really bothered by it, feeling uncharacteristically exhausted from their joint practice today. Makoto caught his eye however and brought his hands up to include Haruka in what they were talking about.

“[Gou is worried about Rin. She wanted him to be happy swimming with you again],” Makoto explained with a grim look on his face.

Haruka turned away from the group after that, not wanting to be a part of that particular conversation because of course Haruka also wanted to see Rin happy again but knew that he was the centre of all of Rin’s sorrow. Haruka just couldn’t find it to give up on swimming now that he had the slight chance of swimming beside Rin when he didn’t think he would ever get to again.

Haruka walked all the way home, Makoto the only one who accompanied him the entire way since they practically lived right beside each other. He could feel Makoto stare after him as he made his way past Makoto’s house further up the hill to his own vacant house. Haruka didn’t turn around, making his way to his front door before he unlocked it and walked inside.

Haruka pushed himself to prepare dinner and take another bath before he fell onto his bed that night, ignoring his English homework since that subject still wasn’t any easier for Haruka after all these years. He didn’t bother putting anything else on other than the boxer briefs he had put on after his bath. Crawling under his blankets, he curled into himself as he felt all of the emotions he had been pushing down all day threaten to erupt inside him. Rin was always making him _feel,_ and Haruka didn’t know how to make it stop.

xx

Haruka found himself being convinced into swimming a relay for the third time in his life and Haruka couldn’t rationalise to himself how Rin had no part in trying to convince him to be a part of it. The relay from middle school had been another confusing time for him but Haruka’s memories of middle school were hazy now at best after everything that happened to him during that time.

The one truth Haruka was certain of however was that Rin was not going to be happy about Iwatobi’s entrance into the relay event even though Haruka figured he would be swimming either fly or free for Samezuka. Rin’s selfishness really hadn’t curbed any for wanting everything for himself, Haruka included, even if Rin was going to leave him behind as well.

The day of the relay was dreadfully painful. Rin won against him in the 100m freestyle the day before, announcing that he would never again swim beside Haruka. Now, Haruka didn’t really see a point in swimming if he couldn’t do it freely with Rin by his side. Haruka had always stubbornly stated that he would never swim for Rin—that he always swam free—but he couldn’t ignore the annoyingly persistent feeling in the back of his mind that told him he would never be as free as he had during that first relay with their ‘perfect team’.

His new team had gotten him this far, leading him to the pool today despite the fact that he had felt like Rin pulled his heart out the last time he walked away from him yesterday.

_Rin was so selfish._

Since Rin had won the 100m free, he was swimming before the final relay event that Iwatobi was entered in as their only event of the day. Haruka couldn’t help but lean up in his chair in the stands when Rin took his mark on the starting block. Kou was standing in front of them with their club teacher, Amakata-san, and their old coach, Sasabi-san. It almost felt like the old days, most of everyone brought back together by their revival of their high school’s swim team, except _Rin._

Haruka didn’t have to see the flash that indicated the start of the race to know that the whistle had blown. Rin dived into the water with splendid grace but Haruka noticed he quickly went downhill after that. Rin’s strokes were too aggressive, causing him to slap the water more than glide through it. Ultimately, it slowed him down and even the turn where he always sped up couldn’t bridge the gap for him.

At the end of the race, Rin just stood in his lane looking completely defeated before helplessly trying to pull himself up. Haruka wondered it he had injured himself or just exhausted his arms and legs since he slipped when trying to get out of the pool. It was painful to watch, Haruka only able to endure watching so much before he vaulted himself out of his seat and took off out of the stands towards the changing rooms.

He wasn’t surprised that his other teammates followed him but Haruka didn’t pay them any mind. He however didn’t realise when they froze behind him after they must have heard Rin before Haruka saw him fighting with one of his younger Samezuka teammates.

Haruka didn’t need to be able to hear him or even read his lips to know what Rin was yelling to the intimidated boy in front of him. Haruka had seen Rin like this before and it made Haruka’s feet fall from under him. Rin wasn’t going to swim anymore, he as going to give up and leave Haruka behind again.

_Rin was so selfish._

Haruka tucked his head into knees feeling horribly reminiscent of all the times he has been abandoned before in the past. Makoto bent down beside him, Nagisa and Rei somewhere in front of him looking worried for more than just Haruka’s sake.

“[Haruka-senpai… I think Rin should swim in the relay with you],” Rei was the first one to break the cold stillness between all of them.

Nagisa started flailing his arms at Rei, probably accusing him of being crazy or selfless or something similar for willingly giving up his earned place on their team for the race. Makoto was far more steady, well aware of how overwhelmed Haruka felt and knowing that overzealous gestures would only make him feel worse.

That is until he met Haruka’s eyes with a softened look and nodded. “[We should go find him].”

Haruka felt himself getting up and then using his desperate energy for never losing Rin again to carry him across the grounds of the recreational centre where the tournament was being held. He found Rin under the tree where only hours earlier he had written Rin’s own words in the dirt— _For The Team._

“RIN!” Haruka screamed as loudly as he could, feeling the crackling of his vocal cords scratch in his throat.

Rin turned around like Haruka had startled him before rearranging his features into a presentable scowl.

“[Why are you here, Haru? Are you going to make fun of me like the rest of the world?]” Rin signed angrily at him, Haruka seeing the sadness in his features that he was trying so hard to cover up.

Haruka shook his head. “[I would never make fun of you].”

This had a less than placating effect on Rin who brazenly crowded Haruka after dropping his swim gear to the ground and then running towards him. Haruka stood his ground, trying to calm Rin down while he took a swing at Haruka—not for the first time in the past year—and ended with the two of them on top of each other on the ground.

“I found out why I want to swim, Rin. Come swim with me!” Haruka pleaded, speaking out loud since Rin was now on top of him and had his arms pinned.

Suddenly, Rin seemed distracted from their argument and Haruka struggled to turn to see what Rin was focused on. It dawned on Haruka that Rin caught sight of the words he had written in the dirt earlier. It seemed to finally be the thing that got through to Rin whose tears were now pooling onto Haruka’s own cheeks.

Rin carefully ended up helping Haruka to his feet once he found his composure.

“Ne, Rin. It’s my turn to show you a sight you’ve never seen before,” Haruka boldly stated, wanting to show Rin that he had never given up on him and never would.

The expression on Rin’s face when he turned back around to face Haruka; his watery eyes slightly red-rimmed from his tears now widened in disbelief, his red hair blowing softly in the wind and his mouth open slack to show his shock. Haruka couldn’t help himself, the memory of Rin’s last day in Iwatobi before leaving for Australia sharp in his mind before he stepped forward into Rin’s space this time. Haruka lifted his head determinedly up to bring his lips to Rin’s damp cheek, pulling back seconds later to see his skin turn crimson from embarrassment. Haru found his second kiss with Rin felt much more satisfying than their first.

xx

After they won the relay with Nagisa and Makoto, and were subsequently disqualified due to Rin’s participation from another school, Rin paid back Haruka’s embarrassment in kind.

He walked Haruka out of the centre together before pulling him off to the side to be alone.

“[It looks like your kisses are luckier than mine],” Rin signed with a sly smirk playing on his lips.

Haruka heated up, turning his head in embarrassment before he felt Rin’s warm hand gently cup his chin to bring back his attention. Rin’s eyes were gleaming, reminiscent of how Rin used to look at him.

Haruka scoffed at how romantic Rin was being even though his stomach wouldn’t stop flitting with butterflies.

“Can I have another one?” Rin asked since he still had his hand on Haruka’s chin.

Haruka didn’t answer him but didn’t stop Rin as he slowly filled the gap between them until their lips met each other’s. Haruka’s eyes widened until he belatedly remembered that he was supposed to close them since that’s what Rin seemed to be doing. Rin’s lips were chapped and warm and made Haruka feel like he needed to catch his breath.

Once they pulled apart, both of them were crimson red and breathless but neither of them said anything further. Rin only grabbed his free hand and led them down towards the buses to take them home. Haruka hadn’t even calmed down completely from their _real_ kiss before they met back up with their teams and Rin squeezed his hand, kissed his warm cheek and then waved him off again.

_Rin was so selfish, but Haruka loved him anyway._


	7. Love

Rin started his final year of high school feeling as if his life was finally coming into how he had always dreamed when he was young and careless and arguably more selfish—although Haru liked to remind him fairly often that he was still pretty selfish. But when Haru told his _boyfriend_ with a lazy sign in between heavy make-out sessions on his days off when Rin came to visit, Rin wasn’t really offended.

Rin had caught up on a lot of things now that he was dating Haru and spending time with the rest of the Iwatobi crew. He actually found that he learned the most about what was going on from his secret coaching sessions with Rei to help the newbie better his butterfly and learn how to swim the other strokes. Rin found that even though he had been nothing but jealous of the newcomer for all of last year that he didn’t really mind the younger’s boy’s company anymore.

However his new favourite thing to do now by far was take the train over to Iwatobi on weekends to spend them curled up with Haru where they would swim in the ocean, or more recently, sit up at the kotatsu since it was too cold outside and Haru would make them dinner, draw a bath for them to share and then fall asleep in bed together.

It wasn’t nearly as risqué as presumed since Rin prevented himself from thinking about such things when sitting in Haru’s bath with both of them in their jammers sitting back to back, or more rarely with Haru leaning up against Rin while he held Haru in his lap. Sleeping together also felt reminiscent of when they were younger and all the sleepovers Rin bullied Haru into having. Haru never even offered to pull out the futon while the two of them usually fell asleep with their hands clasped together.

Rin knew he was notorious for messing things up, always plowing on ahead a mile a minute, but he did _not_ want to mess this up! So he didn’t mind going slow with Haru because they knew they belonged to each other even though it was more than Rin had ever believed could happen over the last few years. Embarrassingly, he knew that him at eleven years old was pretty damn confident he would return back from Australia to sweep Haru off his feet and propose to him in an overly romantic display—which may or may not have included both of them at the Olympics. But that all felt like a lifetime ago and so many things had changed. Rin might still be selfish, but he had matured, and he put more effort into trying to include Haru in his decisions instead of always making them for the both of them. And Haru seemed much too pleased with himself whenever he successfully got Rin to tighten his hold on him while kissing before he would lean back, kiss his cheek and then go off to do something as infuriating as hang the laundry like he had just won another competition between them—which he more or less always did.

“[Hey babe, I really want you to meet Sousuke. I still can’t believe that you two haven’t met since I’ve known him since before I attended Iwatobi Elementary],” Rin caught his boyfriend’s attention while they sat across from each other at the kotatsu one afternoon.

Rin had arrived last night, leaving the Samezuka campus after class yesterday and would head back tomorrow before classes resumed. His roommate and childhood best friend, Yamazaki Sousuke, had given him a hard time like always for going to spend the weekend with Haru but Sousuke had always been overprotective of him. Rin was sure that once Haru and Sousuke met that things wouldn’t be so tense on the subject.

He watched his boyfriend sitting across him before Haru fixed him with a curious stare while deciding on his answer.

“[I have already met him],” Haru admitted without further explanation.

Neither of the two of them had ever said anything to Rin about it which made him think that maybe something happened between them. Rin frowned at his boyfriend who was the first to turn away like Haru always did whenever he felt uncomfortable. He had been doing it less with Rin as their relationship progressed so Rin was even more worried now that something must have happened.

Rin could already feel himself running up against Haru’s wall so instead of starting an argument he knew would lead to Haru completely shutting him out and his own temper flaring, Rin tried for a more ‘Makoto’ approach. He knew it was a low-blow and Haru would see through him in a second, but Rin also knew it would be the most effective.

“[How about I bring Sousuke with me here next weekend? I can bring lunch for the three of us],” Rin added a smile that he knew his boyfriend would scowl at.

Haruka didn’t disappoint but also didn’t immediately refute his best laid plans.

“[Lunch next weekend is very important for you],” Haruka replied after several different thought paths seemed to go through his mind—a statement not a question.

It wasn’t posed as a question because it was undoubtedly true, so Rin just nodded before sliding over along the kotatsu until he was pressed up against Haruka and then stole a kiss.

Rin couldn’t help smiling into it when he felt the vibrations of Haru’s hum of satisfaction on his lips. He revelled in the fact that he could pull such a reaction from Haru even though his boyfriend always tried to be so stubbornly closed off.

Rin didn’t really care anymore so long as Haru let him in, and for the most part, Haruka was learning how to do just that.

xx

Rin felt nervous for the whole week after leaving Haru’s on Sunday. He had been really excited, despite Haru’s reluctance, up until he proposed his lunch idea to Sousuke.

Sousuke confirmed Rin’s aching feeling that something had transpired between Haru and Sousuke when Sousuke _grimaced_ at the idea of having lunch with Haru next weekend. But, just like Haru had done, Sousuke obliged him, nonetheless.

So Rin tried prodding Sousuke all week about it, first trying to be subtle but Sousuke very early on called him out for it since apparently he was never subtle about anything, ever.

But regardless of Sousuke seeing right through him, his best friend didn’t answer any of his pressing questions about his history with Haru. All Sousuke said was that he would go and for Rin to just drop it.

So Rin painstakingly got through the week before Saturday _finally_ arrived. He stopped by the market after his train ride from Samezuka which was a commute he had become very familiar with over the last few months. Sousuke remained quiet for the most part, helping Rin pick out some fresh fish for lunch before Rin led him through the quaint streets of Iwatobi towards Haru’s house.

Rin thought about pressing the button that Haru’s grandmother had installed years ago that was connected to two lights on the inside, one upstairs and one downstairs, but Rin knew Haru would only be annoyed since he was expecting him.

Sousuke looked a bit appalled to be entering the dwelling unannounced so Rin proceeded first and flipped the genkan light instead to see if it would get Haru’s attention.

Surprising to Rin, Haru entered from the sitting room near the front of the house where he must have been waiting for their arrival. Rin thanked whatever water goddesses was necessary for the fact that Haru was at least not in the bath or hanging out in only his jammers—it had happened more than once, and Rin’s reactions were becoming more difficult to keep in check.

“Hey, babe. You remember Sousuke,” Rin spoke since he was still carrying one of the grocery bags so he couldn’t sign properly.

Haru nodded before waving half-heartedly, meaning that he didn’t seem interested in speaking Japanese today—Rin had almost predicted as much.

Sousuke seemed to be equally as silent when he only nodded back at Haru before indicating down to his own bag for Rin to show him to the kitchen.

Rin held back rolling his eyes before he took off his shoes and led Sousuke down to the back of Haru’s house into his kitchen. Along the way however, he paused next to Haru still standing in the hallway and stole a kiss on his cheek.

Haru didn’t seem to be expecting any sort of affectionate display while in the midst of company but Rin wasn’t deterred. It had been a whole week to see Haru, even though they were used to going much longer, and he never missed an opportunity.

“[Stop being romantic],” Haru chastised him before leading the way down the hall.

Rin laughed in earnest. He waited until all three of them were in the kitchen and Haru stood opposite to him before answering so Haru would see him speaking. “I’ll never stop being romantic, babe.”

Haru rolled his eyes this time while Rin turned at the sound of Sousuke sniggering at his expense.

“Make yourself at home. Haru, _I’m_ making the food,” Rin admonished, seeing Haru already looking towards the apron he always wore hanging near the refrigerator.

Haru frowned but didn’t scowl, a slight win for Rin who gestured with just his head for Haru to show Sousuke to the kotatsu.

Haru did so, coming back to the kitchen promptly however to put on the kettle. Rin chuckled but didn’t say anything, knowing Haru was uncomfortable but at least he was being a good host.

“[It won’t take long. Lunch will be done soon. Sousuke’s favourite is o-o-l-o-n-g],” Rin supplied before grabbing Haru’s apron for himself.

“[Oolong],” Haru demonstrated. “[So picky].”

But Haru steeped a pot of oolong anyways before carrying out a tray.

Rin couldn’t hear anything from the adjacent room, but he could feel the tension in the silence. He sighed to himself, dishing out the plates before fixing his biggest smile and then going to join the other two at the low table.

“How is the oolong?” Rin asked but simultaneously signed at the same time.

Haru reached over and grabbed onto his hand as soon as he set his hands back down to the table to show him the correct sign again for oolong and then to have Rin repeat it a couple times before he gave a satisfied nod.

Rin smiled at him before turning to Sousuke who he heard give an airy huff.

“Doesn’t that get annoying?” Sousuke asked abrasively, Rin frowning at him in response.

It was the first thing Sousuke had said since their arrival and already he was being antagonistic.

Rin blanched, instantly mortified by his best friend’s rudeness.

“Of course not. I learned signing to be able to communicate better with Haru and I still get a lot of them wrong. If Haru shows me my mistakes it means he’ll understand me better next time,” Rin spoke and signed along since he was facing Sousuke to answer him.

“[You’re always too impatient. Your signs get sloppy],” Haru added unhelpfully, Rin sticking his tongue out at Haru more playfully before turning more serious back to Sousuke who was still frowning.

Rin didn’t know what the hell Sousuke’s problem was. He thought lunch had been a good idea and it didn’t matter that Haru preferred to sign today. It wasn’t new that Haru usually felt more comfortable signing anyway and given the mysterious past between Sousuke and Haru, it wasn’t surprising to Rin that the tension was having some sort of effect on Haru. But he was participating and making an effort so it was all Rin could ask for. He wasn’t even being actively hostile which Rin counted as an added bonus since Haru did have a bit of an insufferable side when Rin did something he really didn’t like, and Rin hadn’t known where this lunch had fallen on that metre.

“But how the hell can you even ‘communicate’ if he’s not even going to try! You can’t tell me you talk about anything important, have you even told him about Australia yet?” Sousuke asked indignantly.

Rin gasped in horrified shock, catching the sight of Haru going rigid out of the corner of his eye.

 _No,_ Rin hadn’t told Haru about his offer to go swim in Australia yet, but it had absolutely nothing to do with Haru and everything to do with his own communication skills. The truth was that he was afraid to tell Haru about wanting to take the offer for the swimming scholarship in Australia when things were finally so good between them again. Rin felt utterly betrayed and trapped, stuck between a rock and a hard place.

No one had started eating, Sousuke standing up to supposedly leave after dropping that atomic bomb in the middle of Rin’s life while he noticed Haru turning ghostly white.

“What are you going to do, stay here and play house? I saw the tickets, Rin. And you—” Sousuke turned to actually face Haru. “You’re just going to hold him back if he stays here with you.”

“Shut up!” Rin was absolutely livid, jumping to stand and rush towards Sousuke until he was in his face.

He clenched his fists, Sousuke probably sensing that Rin was about to swing when he stepped back and then swiftly turned to leave.

Without Sousuke right in front of him to take out his anger, he was suddenly very aware that he was left alone with Haru. But the abrupt movement of Haru taking off and out the door startled Rin even more before he chased after him.

Rin knew that Haru was always a bit of a flight risk whenever he was really overwhelmed, and Sousuke had certainly made sure that happened.

Rin expected for Haru to run towards the shrine, or more likely towards the opposite direction to the ocean, but he froze in place when he saw that Haru had stopped just on the staircase leading through his neighbourhood.

“Rin can go to Australia or anywhere else, but I will always stay by his side!” Haru shouted down to where Sousuke had impressively already made it to the bottom of the stairs.

But the tall, teal-eyed boy actually stopped to look back over his shoulder. The stillness between them was tense until Sousuke finally nodded definitively but kept on walking back towards the train station.

Rin would ream him out when he went back to the dorm tomorrow, but satisfying his anger wasn’t his priority right now.

Rin finally unfroze and stepped forward until he reached out and hesitantly tapped on Haru’s shoulder.

“[Haru, I—],” Rin was cut off by Haru shaking his head.

“Follow your dream, Rin. I’ll stay close. Just don’t leave me behind again,” Haru spoke assuredly but Rin didn’t miss the flitting fear at his hidden plea to Rin not to fuck up again.

Rin gaped in awe at Haru, completely taken by the boy he had loved since he was eleven.

Once he came to his senses, Rin took a step forward, this time crowding Haru’s space before he swept Haru off his feet. Haru seemed shocked but still wrapped his legs around Rin's waist and gripped his shoulders for balance. Rin looked up and met Haru’s lips before he moved his mouth over them in a silent promise.

“I love you.”

Haru’s fierce kiss was the only confirmation he needed to know Haru felt exactly the same way.


	8. Ethereal

Haruka hated crowded areas. He could feel the heat coming off of the others around him and picked up on way too many smells from well-travelled individuals who needed a shower after countless hours of air travel. Haruka could only imagine how airplanes were just hotboxes for unpleasant smells of discomfort and buzzing energy of restlessness.

Makoto had been too busy with exams to accompany him which meant that Haruka had to come to the airport on his own. He hated being here and getting here, even if he begrudgingly accepted now that he did enjoy living in the city. But no one in their right mind would enjoy being at an airport, especially one such as Tokyo.

Looking around impatiently again, Haruka was uncomfortable waiting for Rin who should have already gathered his luggage by now since his plane was confirmed to have landed as shown by the screens above him and the flight app on his phone.

Makoto had irritatingly called him _cute_ when he had downloaded it and tried sneakily to check the status every so often as soon as Rin took off yesterday afternoon. But of course he should know better by now that he couldn’t get anything past his best friend.

Speaking of which—Rin really ought to know better by now as well than to try something like this.

A pair of strong arms wrapped around him from behind as if Haruka hadn’t sensed him as soon as he entered his personal space. But even though Haruka wiggled in an attempt to break free, he still leaned back into Rin’s muscled chest and inhaled deeply to take in his familiar scent. Haruka wouldn’t let his ‘sneak attack’ go easily but he could not deny how much he had _missed_ Rin.

“You didn’t even flinch,” Rin spoke once Haru compromised and turned around in Rin’s grip without the redhead actually letting go of him.

Rin’s face was so close but Haruka only afforded himself a chaste kiss on his cheek that still caused Rin to blush—much to Haruka’s satisfaction.

“Why do you always try and scare me?” Haruka huffed, unable to use his hands since Rin still had him enveloped in his embrace.

Instead of answering Rin buried his head into Haruka’s shoulder and Haruka knew he was inhaling deeply and taking him in as he had when Rin first wrapped himself around him.

It had definitely taken more than just Sousuke’s untactful announcement in the middle of Haruka’s living room for Haruka and Rin to come to terms with Rin moving to Australia— _again._ It had actually gone from passionate acceptance that day after Sousuke left (which had ended up with the Rin and Haruka in Haruka’s bedroom half-naked), to strained tension when Rin started asking Haruka about _his_ future (which ended up with Haruka screaming at Rin during a swimming competition to leave him alone), to loving acceptance when Rin pulled a complete _Rin_ and brought Haruka to Australia to show him his new pool which pretty much cemented Haruka’s new approvement of Australia. It was still difficult, Haruka having to learn how to use online texting apps and Skype which was difficult for him to read both lips and signs. But usually they would just end up messaging while they looked at each other and seeing Rin was enough to make the ache dull until the next time they video chatted.

Rin had mentioned it once, that Haruka could fight to join him, but Haruka had wanted to take his own path which brought him to Tokyo on his own swimming scholarship.

“[Let’s get out of here],” Rin finally had both of his hands free when he stepped back from Haruka who had missed the sight of Rin’s energetic flow of signs.

Haruka wanted to kiss them, and really every part of his boyfriend who he knew how much he had missed and somehow missed him even more.

Haruka nodded approvingly, taking Rin’s hand to hastily lead them out to the street where Haruka was happy to finally be in the fresh air. 

“Let’s go home,” Haruka announced, squeezing Rin’s hand and not even trying to fight off the smile crossing his face.

Rin was here and warm and _his_ and it somehow made the distance worth it even though he had initially been against it and knew how it felt during the days and nights when it was unbearable.

xx

Several people over the years had told Haruka how _loud_ Rin is, something Haruka was quite aware of himself. Rin was an expert by now at getting Haruka’s attention, no matter how much effort Haruka put into ignoring Rin when he would rather the world around him just be quiet. Rin, however, had no such shame but somehow usually made Haruka feel at ease despite not usually getting what he wanted. Rin was always the centre of most conversations whenever he was surrounded by others and he more often than not became the only pair of lips that Haruka would focus on when he wasn’t really invested in the ongoing conversation, which was fairly common. Rin could also gleam Haruka’s attention with a sudden subtle gesture that would pull Haruka’s gaze before he could attempt to ignore Rin’s easy signs which he had perfected over the years since they were eleven years old.

But now, with Rin pressing his naked body over Haruka’s own, this was Haruka’s favourite way to communicate with Rin. Like usual, Rin never stayed quiet, but used creative measures to show Haruka just how much he loved and adored him despite how much distance might be between them when they were both away at school.

Rin brought his mouth down to Haruka’s skin and Haruka could feel Rin’s lips mouth over him in a never-ending stream of confessions. Haruka didn’t need to know exactly what Rin was saying, only the feel of the words on his skin while Rin made love to him like they were the only two people in the entire world—and to Haruka, they were definitely the only two who mattered at this moment.

It wasn’t until much later after their lovemaking, once Haruka had taken a bath and Rin had slept for a couple hours that they got dressed and went to meet up with their friends. It never failed to amaze, but not really surprise Haruka how everyone always came together for Rin even when he never asked them to. Rin was just a magnetic force and Haruka had accepted this as fact a long time ago.

Makoto waved them over once they arrived at the restaurant where everyone was already assembled at a private table where they took their shoes off outside the sliding door before Rin closed it behind them. Haruka instinctively sat down in the empty space beside Makoto who had to move over some when Rin squished in beside Haruka because the two of them were always connected at the hip whenever Rin was in town no matter how much Haruka would deny it if directly called out for his clinginess.

Dinner was a pleasant affair, Haruka mostly admiring Rin’s reactions and expressions while he reunited with his friends. Nagisa had to be pulled back across the table by Rei when the blonde would erratically try to re-enact some sort of story and almost land in the plates of food that had been brought out by the waiters.

Sousuke, Momotaru and Aiichiro Nitori were there as well and Haruka noticed that Rin looked relieved that Gou was sitting on the other side of the table from those three beside Makoto.

“[We should go to the bar. Kisumi invited us],” Makoto signed and spoke at the same time since less than half the people at the table actually knew how to sign—and less than that knew how to sign _well._

“[That sounds like fun, Haru],” Rin gave him a meaningful smile, turning his shoulders towards him so it was just the two of them in the conversation even though Makoto and Rei probably knew everything they were saying to each other.

Haruka could only guess by the buzzing energy coming from the others that most everyone was in agreement that they would go and meet up with Kisumi at the bar, but Rin seemed content to wait Haruka out for _his_ answer as if it was the only one that mattered.

Haruka, never quite growing out of the habit, turned his head to the side and away from everyone to think about his answer while he chewed on the inside of his lip. He knew Rin would want to go—somehow everyone actually liked that pink-haired nuisance, including Rin and Haruka didn’t want to deprive his boyfriend of seeing his friends when Haruka would selfishly rather the two of them go back to his apartment.

Before Haruka could completely resign himself to his fate he felt Rin pick up his hand and lay his palm out flat before Rin’s fingers settled on top. Haruka knew what he was doing before his fingers even started to move. It was sloppier rather than Rin’s usual signing, whenever Rin would tactile sign, but it was something he had started to try out since Haruka could be stubbornly introverted sometimes and Rin was just as stubbornly set on always communicating himself to Haruka despite that fact.

“{I will dance with you very _slow},_ ” Rin dragged the last sign over his hand until he got gooseflesh from the seductive promise Rin was making him.

Haruka slowly turned back at that, suddenly wanting to actually look at Rin but caught sight of Makoto first who looked much more pink and flushed than he had all throughout dinner. Rin must have known that Makoto would be able to see what Rin was signing but once Haruka met his boyfriend’s alluring gaze, he didn’t seem to be bothered at all and solely focused his attention back at Haruka.

Haruka nodded in concession which everyone else must have caught because soon after th group was standing up and moving towards the door since the bills had already been paid.

xx

Haruka frowned when he saw that Kisumi wasn’t alone, although it shouldn’t really have been all that surprising since Kisumi was even more attention seeking than Rin. What was surprising though was seeing Kirishima Ikuya here since he was just as social as Haruka preferred to be, but turned a frown when Haruka caught sight of who was beside him.

Hiyori Tono was in his usual place, standing vigil at Ikuya’s side.

Rin was very effective however in distracting Haruka once his social butterfly boyfriend greeted Kisumi’s group and then proceeded to lead Haruka onto the bustling dancefloor.

Usually, Haruka hated crowds. It was something he liked about competitive swimming, that the crowds of onlookers were always so far away once he was in the water. A crowded bar—more like a club rather—pushed on the fringes of Haruka’s comfort zone, however the world around him shrunk down into only Rin’s embrace when his sexy-as-hell swimmer boyfriend wrapped his arms around him from behind to cage Haruka against his lithe body.

Haruka didn’t really count himself as a _good_ dancer, but he found Rin was an expert lead, even if they were hardly doing more than grinding against each other to a bass beat loud enough that Haruka felt the vibration of it through his shoes on the sticky floor. Haruka was very much used to taking Rin’s lead in most things they did together—be it swimming, their dreams for the future, or other things—

Rin made a well-practiced effort to get Haruka’s body to react the way that left them both slightly breathless despite their adept athleticism, and more than a little heated and hungry—so Haruka scowled in actual disappointment when Rin pried his now sweat slicked body from him only to take his hand and lead them both towards the bar.

Haruka’s discontentment turned to confusion since neither of them drank alcohol but Rin rolled his eyes at him when he passed Haruka his glass of water with ice as if he knew exactly what Haruka had been thinking—which he regrettably usually did.

Those in the group who weren’t on the dancefloor themselves seemed to notice that Haruka and Rin were taking a break and were more approachable now that they had their hands off of each other. The only ones in the group who hadn’t had some sort of issue with the sight had been Nagisa—who seemed to have roped Rei into dancing—and Kisumi who was even more shameless than Rin.

Haruka sipped his water gratefully while Rin squeezed his other hand before he stepped towards Sousuke. Haruka didn’t mind since he knew the two Samezuka alumni hadn’t really caught up yet and Rin wasn’t staying very long this time—just like every other time he could steal away to Japan, but Haruka was never satisfied with the limited amount of time he had seen Rin.

Haruka himself had never warmed up to Sousuke and he knew it had taken Rin a long time to be able to have a normal conversation with him again, but Haruka knew they had talked just before Rin had left for Australia and they had kept in touch since then.

Haruka was content enough with Makoto drawing to his side like he always did and Ikuya wriggled over more precariously, careful so that no one brushed up against him in the crowded club.

Ikuya didn’t know any sign language but Haruka always found him easy to understand, especially when the boy was limited with his words and used more of his expressions to convey what he was feeling. Haruka always enjoyed Ikuya’s presence even though he was painfully aware that he had hurt the other boy in the past. But Ikuya had reassured Haruka in his own way that he had put that behind him and that the two of them—with Rin—were set on making it to the Olympics together.

The only unfortunate thing was that Ikuya tended to be followed around endlessly by Hiyori who glowered now at Haruka from Ikuya’s shoulders, Ikuya being too short and feeling too uncomfortable in the nightclub to notice Hiyori’s hostility.

Haruka did what he always did in these kinds of situations and ignored Hiyori, ordering another water from the bar while Makoto ordered something with alcohol in it so Haruka didn’t piss off the bartender for not ordering anything that costed money.

When they returned, Ikuya was regrettably alone so Haruka made sure to stick by his friend’s side, noticing Ikuya loosen up just slightly by the proximity while Haruka gazed around the bar. The three of them had given up on communicating early on since Ikuya couldn’t understand signing and Makoto couldn’t yell loud enough to translate for Ikuya without crowding into Ikuya’s coveted personal space.

When Haruka’s eyes landed on his boyfriend on the other side of the bar, standing at a table with Sousuke, Asahi Shiina, who had apparently shown up since Haruka joined the dancefloor with Rin, Nagisa and _Hiyori_ of all people. Haruka frowned when he could tell that Rin was angry for some unknown reason. Haruka could read Rin like a book and even from across the bar he could see the unmistakeable tension in his shoulders and his heated movements. From the expressions of those he could see, it seemed like the group was bristling against something Hiyori must have said, which wasn’t _really_ surprising to Haruka who knew the other boy was upsetting to most, but Haruka was still unsettled that he could have said something so asinine in such a short time to set Rin off like that. Haruka knew Rin had a bit of a temper but it wasn’t in his nature to get this heated so quickly, especially by someone he had just met.

Haruka set off automatically towards Rin, shoving past people he didn’t care about until he reached the rest of their group.

“Rin…?” Haruka called out to his boyfriend above the noise he could feel around him, knowing that with each passing second that Rin was liable to do something really stupid.

Haruka frowned deeper when he thought that Rin couldn’t hear him, or worse—was choosing to ignore him like he did back when they were kids. But Rin did hear him and turned slightly towards Haruka to show his acknowledgement without taking his eyes off of Hiyori who was now pressed back against a bar stool.

“[Did this creep threaten you?]” Rin signed with his one free hand while his other suddenly grabbed onto the collar of Hiyori’s shirt.

Rin’s biceps tensed under the black t-shirt he was wearing before Haruka reached out to grab onto Rin’s signing hand so that he didn’t use it to clock Hiyori in the face like it was growing increasingly apparent that was where this was headed.

“Come on, Rin,” Haruka urged him, pulling on the hand he now had gripped firmly in his own, but Rin stood rigidly in place.

Haruka caught Makoto’s presence from the corner of his eye and saw Ikuya go to stand at Hiyori’s side, grabbing onto his shirt sleeve and trying to tug him insistently along and away from Rin’s unmoving grip.

Haruka could see that despite the defiant stance Rin was taking that he never really could deny Haruka anything, so Haruka knew that Rin was a second away from letting go and following him out of the club, preferably back to Haruka’s apartment where Haruka would mildly chastise him before they moved onto showering together and wrapping themselves up in themselves before passing out.

But Haruka would always fault Hiyori for his big mouth, even if the _threat_ —as Rin put it, if not completely accurate—ate at Haruka’s mind with his bitter self consciousness. Haruka knew that Rin would heed him since it was a hard lesson they had learned in their youth even if it did lead to their first kiss—Rin always saying it didn’t count as their first since Haruka hadn’t actually kissed Rin back until years later.

Haruka also saw it in Hiyori’s face right before he read his lips that there would be no calling Rin back.

“It’s not like it’s my fault that _everyone_ Nanase ever swims with suffers,” Haruka couldn’t hold back the flinch in his shoulders anymore than he could hold Rin back from punching the smug look off of Hiyori’s face.

He didn’t know if Makoto had been intimidated by the standoff or if the others didn’t think that Rin would actually do it, but it was surprisingly that it was Aiichiro who put himself between Rin and the other guy who was sporting a bloody nose while Ikuya hunched over his bleeding friend.

How Aiichiro was able to manhandle Rin out of the club without them actually getting thrown out was quite impressive while it was Rei who grabbed onto Haruka’s hand to pull him out much more gently but with no less fervour since Haruka could tell Rei was nervous about getting in any official trouble. Once the group was outside—it seemed that Kisumi was the only other one to stay behind while Asahi joined them outside since the redhead didn’t seem to want to tolerate Hiyori anymore than the rest of them.

“Go home, Rin. He’s not worth fucking up yours or Nanase’s scholarship,” Sousuke spoke up, Haruka widening his eyes that he was even being mentioned but thankful nonetheless that he was being firm with Rin.

Rin was still riled but relented under Haruka’s grip finally, the two of them turning without saying anything more to anyone else.

Haruka was set on leading them to the train but Rin pulled insistently on his hand to lead them towards the water; even though it was a twenty-minute walk Haruka knew immediately where Rin wanted to go.

Haruka was thankful that Rin didn’t stop until they reached the walkway looking over the bay. The breeze coming up off the water was calming, Haruka hoping that it had the same effect on Rin.

“[Why didn’t you tell me?]” Rin asked, Haruka frowning that it seemed Rin was still pretty high strung.

“[It doesn’t matter],” Haruka shook his head, shrugging for added effect but he should have known better that Rin wouldn’t accept an answer like that.

“Like hell it doesn’t matter!” Rin shouted, his lips widening more than usual in anger, but it was harder for Haruka to follow along since they were standing in a shadowy area.

Haruka scrunched his eyebrows, a mix of concentration on Rin’s lips in the dark and self- conscious disbelief about Hiyori’s comment. Right now he doubted that it was worth his much rage and emotion from Rin. Yes—maybe it had sunk deep into his bones when Hiyori had first said it, Haruka once again calling into question his very existence, but he had since come to terms with everything and no longer took it so seriously. It shouldn’t surprise Haruka anymore though for Rin being his white night, but it did and Haruka didn’t have the words to express to Rin how he feels about Rin getting this upset _for_ him.

Haruka forced himself to stare back at Rin even though all of his instincts wanted for him to turn away and shrink back like he always did—but also like always Rin contradicted all of that and demanded better of him. He took a deep breath before finally answering.

“I was scared that it was true,” it was even more difficult for Haruka to speak the words out loud since he hardly ever spoke Japanese when the was this overwhelmed, but he knew Rin would have trouble following his signs in the nighttime.

He could feel his palms start to sweat and his neck even twitched from the fight to keep himself facing Rin. Fear and confusion overwhelmed him with his admission that left him feeling so vulnerable. Usually he would sink himself into his bathtub to make him feel secure, but Rin had dragged him all the way out to the harbour. The water in the bay also looked tempting but Haruka was sure to incur Rin’s wrath if he bolted now and jumped into the murky water.

He was surprised when Rin’s arms immediately enveloped him and pulled Haruka into his warm chest. He had expected Rin to want to say more but was immensely relieved that Rin seemed to always know exactly what he needed. He could feel all of Rin’s love and reassurance in his embrace without having to squirm under Rin’s intense gaze.

The sweet nothings he could feel muttered into his hair also helped to reassure him as Rin whispered into his skin. Haruka didn’t know how long they stood like that, mercifully secluded from any other person or couple on a late-night stroll during their intimate moment of weakness.

He didn’t know how long Rin held him like that, but he was pleased when he could once again separate his thoughts from the overwhelming void, and he thought he had stopped nervously sweating. Suddenly, when he could piece together his thoughts, he jerked away from Rin more forcefully than was necessary.

He knew he had startled Rin, but he couldn’t focus on that while the words were right at the forefront of his mind.

“Rin— I know I hurt you in the past and it took a long time for you to forgive me, but…” he paused when the words felt even heavier on his tongue. “I always want to swim with you, Rin.”

Unsurprisingly, Rin was crying by this point, but this time they meant more to him that Rin’s usual easy tears. It looked like Rin was really hurting and Haruka didn’t know how he could have possibly made it even worse. When the tears started flowing heavier, he shook his head repetitively. It looked like a mix between trying to quell his tears and resolutely disagreeing with Haruka’s statement.

This time Haruka turned away and felt his feet twitch to want to run away knowing he would end up at home, locking himself for a long soak in his bathtub.

Just when he had decided to make a run for it, Haruka felt Rin’s grip on his wrist and was forced to turn back around with the momentum of Rin’s pull.

“Haru—I have always and will always want to swim with you. Swimming with you and being by your side is the best thing that has ever happened to me. So please, Haru, don’t ever apologise to me for my own mistakes,” Haruka could tell Rin was pleading with him from his still running tears and insistent pulling of his sleeve.

“Rin—” Haruka was at a loss for what to say which wasn’t unusual but he didn’t want this moment to pass by with Rin not understanding how much he loved him in this moment—and forever.

But Rin was Rin, and he was the one person on this planet destined to strip Haruka down to his soul and understand him so completely. Haruka was breathless, watching Rin _light up_ in th darkness, utterly beautiful in his pure emotions. Be it righteous anger, immense hurt, or pure adoration—Rin was the most beautiful thing Haruka had ever seen.

“Let’s go home, Haru.”

Haruka nodded, taking the hand of the boy he had been attached to ever since he was eleven years old, all previous anger and doubt between them forgotten. Haruka was astonished how Rin could completely transform his entire perspective on life, but he was slowly learning just what it meant to have a soulmate. He was in permanent awe that he could be so lucky to have Rin; _selfish, bratty, pushy, ambitious, athletic, determined, pretty, ethereal Rin._


End file.
